ABC Typo Reminds Me Of Joke I Wanted To Play

Apparently ABC caught some flack recently because they misspelled Jane Austen’s name during the Miss America pageant (a graphic stated that Kira Kazantsev “Loves anything Jane Austin”). Obviously this really isn’t a big deal, but it didn’t make ABC look real good. I chuckled, but this reminded me of a joke I wanted to play one time.

You see, I’d gotten invited to see a play adapted from one of Jane Austen’s books. I don’t remember which one. I told the person who invited me that I was going to get one of Stone Cold Steve Austin‘s ‘Austin 3:16′ shirts and pretend like I had honestly gotten the author and wrestler confused:

Very quickly, I was no longer invited to the play. I think we can understand why.

Anyway, this really has nothing to do with the typo, but the typo amusingly reminded me of that joke I wanted to play. I still think it would have been funny. After all, Austen 3:16 states: “It is a truth universally acknowledged, that a single man in possession of a good fortune, must be in want of a wife.”

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Olive Garden Breadstick Complaint Might Not Be As Ridiculous As It Sounds

Apparently, one of Olive Garden’s investors thinks the chain is being reckless with breadsticks.  One of the chief complaints is that the restaurant is giving out too many of them. At first, I wanted to make fun of this along with everyone else. However, I started thinking that it might not be as ridiculous as it sounds.

After all, Olive Garden serves a ton of breadsticks. A ton. It’s kind of one of their signature things, but if they’re giving out more than the amount that people want, they could be wasting a ton of money. Also, if there are so many sitting on a table, I can understand that they might sit long enough that they just aren’t very good anymore.

Why spend money on something that people aren’t going to enjoy? They’ll just be upset at you in payback to your generosity.

Personally, I don’t even eat breadsticks every time I go. Most times for the last five years or so when I go to Olive Garden with my wife, I just get the Zuppa Toscana. I actually enjoy their food, but I adore the Zuppa Toscana. I used to order something else and then fill up on so much Zuppa Toscana that I never ate what I ordered. Finally, I just decided to only get the Zuppa Toscana. I have yet to regret it.

Anyway, I get the soup and my wife gets one of their lighter meals, usually. Sometimes I have half of a breadstick with my soup (or at most a full one), but most times none at all. My wife eats one, maybe two some rare times. Yet, the breadsticks always come and almost always a basket of four or five. We almost always waste at least two.

Why?

So, I can kind of see this. At best, serving too many just doesn’t help. At middling, serving too many could end up with people later munching on old breadsticks, and they are best fresh and warm. At worst, the company could just be throwing away money. It sounds small, but we’re talking about an awful lot of breadsticks here.

Heck, I’m sure they’d still bring more if people wanted even if they trimmed back how many show up by default.

Course, the investor is also recommending Olive Garden stop making its soups from scratch. If they screw up the Zuppa Toscana then we might have a problem.

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Here’s Some Links To Some Fan Fiction Even Though I’m Not Really Into That Kind Of Thing

As you may or may not be aware, fan fiction is (generally) when a fan gets intimately involved with something they love and takes already existing characters from a story or such and creates further adventures in that already existing world. I’m not much into that kind of thing, but some people are. As such, I thought I’d provide some links to some fan fiction out there:

- The Matrix Reloaded

- The Matrix Revolutions

- Indiana Jones and the Kingdom of the Crystal Skull

- Deathstalker

- Deathstalker and the Warriors from Hell

- Deathstalker IV: Match of Titans

- Highlander II: The Quickening

- Highlander: The Final Dimension

- Star Wars: Episode I – The Phantom Menace

- Star Wars: Episode II – The Attack of the Clones

- Star Wars: Episode III – Revenge of the Sith

Well, there you go. This is just the briefest of samples. There’s a ton out there. You just have to look.

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I’m Not Very Interested In A Goth Burger

I’m sure you’ve heard about the new black burger Burger King is debuting in Japan, but I’m not really jumping at this:

Of course, this is probably moot since I’m not going to Japan anytime soon, but still. It just doesn’t look very good. It doesn’t even really seem that novel. I’ve had black squid ink pasta before. This seems like just more of that.

And the fact it doesn’t look particularly appetizing.

Of course, some of this may come from the fact that I’m not particularly fond of Burger King to begin with. For my crap fast food burger places, I prefer McDonald’s. I used to like BK when I was a kid, but my tastes switched to McDonald’s somewhere along the line and never went back (or one of the two changed their food, I don’t know). A goth or black burger probably isn’t going to change that for me.

Regardless, I’m not jumping at this anytime soon, even if it was available to me. It’s funny, but that’s about it for me.

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How Did Mel Brooks Not Already Have A Hollywood Star?

I was surprised to hear that Mel Brooks recently got a star on the Hollywood walk of fame. I wasn’t surprised that he got one, but rather that he didn’t have one already. I hadn’t ever thought about it before, but I would have imagined he had one years ago.

After all…Blazing Saddles? The Producers? Young Frankenstein? History of the World, Part I? Spaceballs? How did he not have a star already?

I guess he didn’t, though. I have no idea how they decide these things. Anyway, at least he has one now.

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In Remembrance: Richard Kiel

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I Finally Got To Try Good Beef Wellington

I’ve talked before about wanting to try beef wellington before on here after seeing it on all the various fancy cooking shows, but that it was kind of hard to find in Denver:

My wife and I found it at one place, who I won’t mention by name, but their standards were a little low and it didn’t go well. Or rather, it went very well when I had in fact ordered it medium.

I can understand how hard it is to cook a beef wellington properly, given that it’s (basically) a filet cooked in puff pastry, but that didn’t mean I was happy about what I’d gotten. That’s why, as I’ve also mentioned previously, I was excited to see that Sugar Mill in Denver served it and that they would make me some without the mushrooms they usually put inside the puff pastry if I called 24 hours ahead of time.

I was looking forward to this. Sugar Mill is the bomb, and on way more than just deserts (though those are also the bomb(.

Well, my wife and I finally got our act together, called ahead, and got our beef wellington at Sugar Mill. It was beautiful, exactly how we ordered it. Food at Sugar Mill is always amazing, but this was particularly good. It was even better to finally get to try something I’d been hankering after for so long.

I should have gone to Sugar Mill to begin with for this. I never should have tried that other place.

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