We are keeping track of far too many world records. Angie’s ass is just the most recent proof. I will explain.
On an episode of the Full Throttle Saloon that aired last night (I don’t know if it was a repeat or not), Angie supposedly set a world record for the most pictures of someone’s ass. Most of these were taken with her ass sitting on some guy’s head.
Now, for those not in the know, Full Throttle Saloon is a show on TruTV covering the happenings of a famous biker bar in Sturgis during the annual rally (if you don’t know what the Sturgis rally is, I’m not explaining). Personally, I don’t watch the show. I’d love to go to the bar itself, but I don’t watch the show. You don’t get booze, you can’t hear more than a clip of the bands, and you certainly aren’t going to see the nudity you would if you were there. Since it’s on TV, it’s completely sanitized of all the reasons I would want to go. As such, they just over dramatize what does happens (much like so many other reality shows), trying to make it seem like you’re going to see something that there isn’t really a chance of you seeing. This overreaction to everything bores me. The only reason I saw this world record breaking event was that my girlfriend was half watching the show. As for me, I was reading Vollmann’s You Bright and Risen Angels.
Does anyone remember when you actually had to do something or have something unique about you to get a world record? World’s tallest woman. Most bras undone in thirty seconds. Stuff like that. Sure, that was kind of worthless too, but at least it wasn’t how many pictures had been taken of your ass.
I mean, according to what I’ve heard, Guinness got into the world record tracking business as an attempt to stop bar fights so that people would drink more. Supposedly, guys in bars would get into fights over stupid stuff like how big was the biggest baby ever born. That time fighting was time they couldn’t be drinking. Hence, Guinness supposedly stepped in with a way to end the disagreement quickly and get everybody back to drinking.
Besides, I can’t believe Angie really got the record for most photos of an ass. Surely George Michael alone has her beat. I just remember Dana Carvey’s impersonations on Saturday Night Live screaming something like (I’m not checking this for accuracy): Look at my butt! Someday we will all be gone, but my butt will live on! My butt is God!
Anyway, I digress. Frequently. But, shouldn’t world records have to be something challenging to obtain? Something more than standing there while people take pictures of your ass? Sure, something may have happened to you more times than anyone else, but we have to draw a line somewhere. Anywhere. This is just ridiculous. Even more so than the other records.