Fun With The Higgs Boson Or “God Particle”

People have been spending a lot of time talking about the reported discovery of the Higgs boson, or “God Particle.” I really don’t know much about it, not being up on subatomic physics, but I have heard about it and took notice when a friend of mine (Demian Ryder) decided to have some fun and rephrase God-related quotes to instead refer to the God Particle. Then he invited us to do the same.

Here is what he came up with:

Rephrasing some classic quotes: “The God Particle helps those who help themselves.” “The God Particle does not play dice with the universe.” “Surely the God Particle would not have created such a being as man, with an ability to grasp the infinite, to exist only for a day!” — B. Franklin; A. Einstein; A. Lincoln

I decided to join in the fun:

“What does the God Particle need with a starship?” – Kirk

“Stan, sometimes the God Particle takes those closest to us, because it makes him feel better about himself. He is a very vengeful God Particle, Stan. He’s all pissed off about something we did thousands of years ago. He just can’t get over it, so he doesn’t care who he takes. Children, puppies, it don’t matter to him, so long as it makes us sad. Do you understand?” – Chef

My friend came back with:

‎”Joy is the most infallible sign of the presence of the God Particle.” — L. Bloy

As such, I decided to take it up a notch and share all this with you. As such, here is the first chapter of Genesis 1, King James Version of the Bible, courtesy of BibleGateway.com, modified to reference the God Particle instead of God:

Genesis 1

King James Version (KJV)

1 In the beginning the God Particle created the heaven and the earth.

And the earth was without form, and void; and darkness was upon the face of the deep. And the Spirit of the God Particle moved upon the face of the waters.

And the God Particle said, Let there be light: and there was light.

And the God Particle saw the light, that it was good: and the God Particle divided the light from the darkness.

And the God Particle called the light Day, and the darkness he called Night. And the evening and the morning were the first day.

And the God Particle said, Let there be a firmament in the midst of the waters, and let it divide the waters from the waters.

And the God Particle made the firmament, and divided the waters which were under the firmament from the waters which were above the firmament: and it was so.

And the God Particle called the firmament Heaven. And the evening and the morning were the second day.

And the God Particle said, Let the waters under the heaven be gathered together unto one place, and let the dry land appear: and it was so.

10 And the God Particle called the dry land Earth; and the gathering together of the waters called he Seas: and the God Particle saw that it was good.

11 And the God Particle said, Let the earth bring forth grass, the herb yielding seed, and the fruit tree yielding fruit after his kind, whose seed is in itself, upon the earth: and it was so.

12 And the earth brought forth grass, and herb yielding seed after his kind, and the tree yielding fruit, whose seed was in itself, after his kind: and the God Particle saw that it was good.

13 And the evening and the morning were the third day.

14 And the God Particle said, Let there be lights in the firmament of the heaven to divide the day from the night; and let them be for signs, and for seasons, and for days, and years:

15 And let them be for lights in the firmament of the heaven to give light upon the earth: and it was so.

16 And the God Particle made two great lights; the greater light to rule the day, and the lesser light to rule the night: he made the stars also.

17 And the God Particle set them in the firmament of the heaven to give light upon the earth,

18 And to rule over the day and over the night, and to divide the light from the darkness: and the God Particle saw that it was good.

19 And the evening and the morning were the fourth day.

20 And the God Particle said, Let the waters bring forth abundantly the moving creature that hath life, and fowl that may fly above the earth in the open firmament of heaven.

21 And the God Particle created great whales, and every living creature that moveth, which the waters brought forth abundantly, after their kind, and every winged fowl after his kind: and the God Particle saw that it was good.

22 And the God Particle blessed them, saying, Be fruitful, and multiply, and fill the waters in the seas, and let fowl multiply in the earth.

23 And the evening and the morning were the fifth day.

24 And the God Particle said, Let the earth bring forth the living creature after his kind, cattle, and creeping thing, and beast of the earth after his kind: and it was so.

25 And the God Particle made the beast of the earth after his kind, and cattle after their kind, and every thing that creepeth upon the earth after his kind: and the God Particle saw that it was good.

26 And the God Particle said, Let us make man in our image, after our likeness: and let them have dominion over the fish of the sea, and over the fowl of the air, and over the cattle, and over all the earth, and over every creeping thing that creepeth upon the earth.

27 So the God Particle created man in his own image, in the image of the God Particle created he him; male and female created he them.

28 And the God Particle blessed them, and the God Particle said unto them, Be fruitful, and multiply, and replenish the earth, and subdue it: and have dominion over the fish of the sea, and over the fowl of the air, and over every living thing that moveth upon the earth.

29 And the God Particle said, Behold, I have given you every herb bearing seed, which is upon the face of all the earth, and every tree, in the which is the fruit of a tree yielding seed; to you it shall be for meat.

30 And to every beast of the earth, and to every fowl of the air, and to every thing that creepeth upon the earth, wherein there is life, I have given every green herb for meat: and it was so.

31 And the God Particle saw every thing that he had made, and, behold, it was very good. And the evening and the morning were the sixth day.

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About David S. Atkinson

David S. Atkinson enjoys typing about himself in the third person, although he does not generally enjoy speaking in such a fashion. However, he is concerned about the Kierkegaard quote "Once you label me you negate me." He worries that if he attempts to define himself he will, in fact, nullify his existence...
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