I Really Need To Stop Saying “That’s What She Said” To My Wife

I really need to stop saying “that’s why she said” to my wife. I think I might be getting a bit out of control. Further, I think there is a significant chance that my wife may end up killing me. I should really stop before that happens.

In my view, it isn’t my fault. I just happen to find the bit particularly funny. Half the time, I end up listening to what my wife says less for the content and more for whether or not it would be funnier with “that’s what she said” tacked onto the end. My wife occasionally finds this funny, especially when the situation is a bit self-deprecating on my part, but the humor is wearing thin.

This is wearing even more thin given the fact that I like to add the phrase on in situations where it doesn’t even make any sense:

- “Should we have pasta tonight?” “That’s what she said!”

- “The cat threw up.” “That’s what she said!”

- “Molluscs are invertebrates.” “That’s what she said!”

- “Religion is the opium of the masses.” “That’s what she said!”

You can see how this might get a little wearying. However, my position is that anything my wife says is said by a her and thus is fit for: “That’s what she said!”

Still, I have to acknowledge that I may, in fact, be pushing my wife over the edge. If I don’t cut this shit out, she may have no other choice but to murder me. At least, that’s what she said.

About David S. Atkinson

David S. Atkinson enjoys typing about himself in the third person, although he does not generally enjoy speaking in such a fashion. However, he is concerned about the Kierkegaard quote "Once you label me you negate me." He worries that if he attempts to define himself he will, in fact, nullify his existence...
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