There Is Officially No More Parking In Downtown Boulder

The city of Boulder, Colorado would just like everyone to know that the last parking spot downtown has just been taken. Parking garages, metered street parking, and pay lots…it’s all full. There is no more. The absolute last spot was taken just last night and there will not be any more. Don’t even look, there aren’t any more spots.

Moreover, the city would like everyone to know that no one who currently has a spot has an intentions of ever leaving. They have their spots and intend to stay there forever. Some people have started including their parking spots in their wills.

Some people who do not yet have spots have protested the situation, suggesting that downtown businesses may suffer because people can’t park in order to patronize them. However, the city indicated that most downtown Boulder businesses expect to be adequately frequented by the people already parked and don’t anticipate the need for further customers beyond that. “We’re full,” one restaurant remarked. “We’re good for the foreseeable future.”

The Boulder City Council did admit that other people who are not already parked in downtown Boulder might want to visit the area. The council is looking at options, but for the moment they suggest that people might simply want to park elsewhere where spots are still open, such as Broomfield or Denver.

“In any event,” a city council spokesperson commented, “they can’t park downtown. That just isn’t an option.”

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About David S. Atkinson

David S. Atkinson enjoys typing about himself in the third person, although he does not generally enjoy speaking in such a fashion. However, he is concerned about the Kierkegaard quote "Once you label me you negate me." He worries that if he attempts to define himself he will, in fact, nullify his existence...
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2 Responses to There Is Officially No More Parking In Downtown Boulder

  1. Jon Konrath says:

    This may be true, but Boulder is one of the few places in the country that has holistic free-range artisanal parking available. It’s only $129 an hour.

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