Thanks So Much News Article: Apparently I’m Going To Florida

I just want to say thank you to whatever news article my wife happened to come across yesterday. Apparently I’ll be going to Florida. So, thanks whatever news article my wife happened to be looking at…thanks a lot.

I knew something was up. I was upstairs and I heard my wife downstairs shrieking happily. I went downstairs and saw her looking at a news article about an animal sanctuary in Florida where they let you swim with tiger cubs for $200 (I don’t know what news article she was looking at because I didn’t check, but here is the link to the sanctuary). I knew I was in trouble.

Immediately I started singing to myself: If we could walk with the animals, talk with the animals, swim with the animals…wait, that isn’t how the lyrics go, is it?

The article actually seemed to be contemplating whether or not it was safe to allow your children to swim with tigers, but I didn’t have to worry about that. I have no kids. What I had to worry about was whether or not my wife was going to make me go to Florida just so she could go to this sanctuary.

Wait, what am I saying? Would my wife make me go to some city in Florida for a vacation just so she could swim with tiger cubs regardless whether or not there was anything else to do there? Would she really focus on that to the point of ignoring whether or not there was any other reason to go? Beaches in the vicinity? Something?

Yes. Yes, my wife would totally do that.

So, thanks whatever news article my wife was looking at. Guess I’m going to Florida. Hope I can find something to do there. Thanks a lot.

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About David S. Atkinson

David S. Atkinson enjoys typing about himself in the third person, although he does not generally enjoy speaking in such a fashion. However, he is concerned about the Kierkegaard quote "Once you label me you negate me." He worries that if he attempts to define himself he will, in fact, nullify his existence...
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