David Atkinson's Blog

And Now, The Same Thing In Binary!

David S. Atkinson — Sat, 28 Jan 2012 00:00:22 +0000

Man, there seems to be no limit to my laziness. Here we have Sunday’s post in binary (Courtesy of the folks over at Translator, Binary. Home of all your text/binary/hex/ascii/base64 and such translation needs):

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01101110 11100010 10000000 10011001 01110100 00100000 01101010 01110101 01101101 01110000 00100000 01101111 01101110 00100000 01110100 01101000 01100101 00100000 01100010 01100001 01101110 01100100 01110111 01100001 01100111 01101111 01101110 00100000 01100001 01110100 00100000 01100110 01101001 01110010 01110011 01110100 00100000 01100001 01101110 01100100 00100000 01100111 01100101 01110100 00100000 01110010 01100101 01100001 01100100 01111001 00100000 01110100 01101111 00100000 01110000 01101111 01110011 01110100 00100000 01100001 01101110 01100100 00100000 01110100 01101000 01100101 01101110 00100000 01100111 01101111 01110100 00100000 01110000 01101001 01110011 01110011 01100101 01100100 00100000 01110111 01101000 01100101 01101110 00100000 01001001 00100000 01100110 01101111 01110101 01101110 01100100 00100000 01101111 01110101 01110100 00100000 01110100 01101000 01100001 01110100 00100000 01101101 01111001 00100000 01110011 01101111 01101110 01100111 00100000 01110011 01110101 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And Now, The Same Thing In Pig Latin!

David S. Atkinson — Fri, 27 Jan 2012 00:00:01 +0000

You know, I’m still not tired of reposting the same post from Sunday in different forms. I guess I must really be lazy. Anyway, here’s Sunday’s post in pig latin (courtesy of the fine folds over at the English to Pig Latin Translator, source for all your pig latin translating needs):

Okayway, Iway’may ettinggay indkay ofway icksay ofway ethay “#1
ongsay ethay ayday ouyay ereway ornbay” enomenonphay.
Everyoneway eemssay otay ebay ostingpay isthay oneway Acebookfay
, oudpray ofway ethay articularpay ongsay eythay areway
associatedway ithway. Asway ifway eythay adhay anythingway otay
oday ithway ethay ongsay orway asway ifway ethay ongsay atthay
asway #1 onway ethay ayday eythay ereway ornbay actuallyway
ayssay omethingsay aboutway emthay asway away ersonpay. Iway
ustjay onday’tay igday ethay olewhay ideaway.

Andway ymay istasteday orfay isthay issueway ashay othingnay
otay oday ithway ethay actfay atthay Iway asway ornbay inway
ethay idmay-70′say andway obablypray asway ornbay enwhay anway
absolutelyway ottenray ongsay asway opularpay. Erethay ereway
omesay eatgray ongssay inway ethay 70′say, utbay ethay anceschay
ustjay arenway’tay oodgay.

Etlay emay urtherfay aysay atthay ymay istasteday ashay
absolutelyway othingnay atway allway otay oday ithway ethay
actfay atthay ethay #1 ongsay ethay ayday Iway asway ornbay
asway Onighttay’say ethay Ightnay (Onnagay Ebay Alrightway) ybay
Odray Ewartstay.

Iway eanmay, eallyray? Iway etgay away Odray Ewartstay ongsay
? Isthay amegay uckssay.

Utbay Iway assureway ouyay, Iway islikedday isthay olewhay
ideaway eforebay indingfay atthay unpleasantway actfay outway.
Eallyray, Iway’may otnay yinglay erehay. Iway idnday’tay umpjay
onway ethay andwagonbay atway irstfay andway etgay eadyray otay
ostpay andway enthay otgay issedpay enwhay Iway oundfay outway
atthay ymay ongsay uckedsay. Iway idnday’tay enthay ielay
aboutway itway. Eallyray, Iway eallyray idnday’tay.

And Now, The Same Thing With A Side Of Bacon!

David S. Atkinson — Thu, 26 Jan 2012 00:00:25 +0000

Continuing lazy week here on the blog (I still promise to tell you why sometime, though I don’t promise when), here is Sunday’s post with a side of bacon (courtesy of bacolicio.us, for all your adding bacon to websites needs):

And Now, The Same Thing In Lolcat Speak!

David S. Atkinson — Wed, 25 Jan 2012 00:00:27 +0000

Yesterday, out of sheer laziness, I posted the exact same thing I had posted on Sunday, but backwards. I actually liked the idea and considered doing more. Perhaps a whole week. I am, after all, very lazy. I’ll tell you why sometime, but for the moment here is Sunday’s post in lolcat speak (courtesy of the fine folks over at the lolcat translator, source for all your lolcat speaking needs):

K, I’M GETTIN KIND OV SICK OV TEH “#1 SONG TEH DAI U WUZ BORN” FENOMENON. EVRYONE SEEMS 2 BE POSTIN DIS WAN FACEBOOK, PROUD OV TEH PARTICULAR SONG THEY R ASSOCIATD WIF. AS IF THEY HAD ANYTHIN 2 DO WIF TEH SONG OR AS IF TEH SONG DAT WUZ #1 ON TEH DAI THEY WUZ BORN AKSHULLY SEZ SOMETHIN BOUT THEM AS PERSON. I JUS DON’T DIG TEH WHOLE IDEA.

AN MAH DISTASTE 4 DIS ISSUE HAS NOTHIN 2 DO WIF TEH FACT DAT I WUZ BORN IN DA MID-70′S AN PROBABLY WUZ BORN WHEN AN ABSOLUTELY ROTTEN SONG WUZ POPULAR. THAR WUZ SUM GREAT SONGS IN DA 70′S, BUT TEH CHANCEZ JUS AREN’T GUD.

LET ME FURTHR SAY DAT MAH DISTASTE HAS ABSOLUTELY NOTHIN AT ALL 2 DO WIF TEH FACT DAT TEH #1 SONG TEH DAI I WUZ BORN WUZ TONITE’S TEH NITE (GONNA BE ALRIGHT) BY ROD STEWART.

I MEEN, RLY? I GIT ROD STEWART SONG? DIS GAME SUCKZ.

BUT I ASSURE U, I DISLIKD DIS WHOLE IDEA BEFORE FINDIN DAT UNPLEASANT FACT OUT. RLY, I’M NOT LYIN HER. I DIDN’T JUMP ON TEH BANDWAGON AT FURST AN GIT READY 2 POST AN DEN GOT PISD WHEN I FINDZ OUT DAT MAH SONG SUCKD. I DIDN’T DEN LIE BOUT IT. RLY, I RLY DIDN’T.

And Now, The Same Thing But Backwards!

David S. Atkinson — Tue, 24 Jan 2012 00:00:11 +0000

Maybe this is lazy, but for today’s post I decided to run yesterday’s post again, but backwards this time. This is all thanks to the fine folks over at the Reverse Text Generator (for all your text-reversal needs). Sorry to be so lazy, but I’ve got a good reason. Sometime I’ll tell you about it. Anyway, here we go:

.t’ndid yllaer I ,yllaeR .ti tuoba eil neht t’ndid I .dekcus gnos ym taht tuo dnuof I nehw dessip tog neht dna tsop ot ydaer teg dna tsrif ta nogawdnab eht no pmuj t’ndid I .ereh gniyl ton m’I ,yllaeR .tuo tcaf tnasaelpnu taht gnidnif erofeb aedi elohw siht dekilsid I ,uoy erussa I tuB

.skcus emag sihT ?gnos trawetS doR a teg I ?yllaer ,naem I

.trawetS doR yb )thgirlA eB annoG( thgiN eht s’thginoT saw nrob saw I yad eht gnos 1# eht taht tcaf eht htiw od ot lla ta gnihton yletulosba sah etsatsid ym taht yas rehtruf em teL

.doog t’nera tsuj secnahc eht tub ,s′07 eht ni sgnos taerg emos erew erehT .ralupop saw gnos nettor yletulosba na nehw nrob saw ylbaborp dna s′07-dim eht ni nrob saw I taht tcaf eht htiw od ot gnihton sah eussi siht rof etsatsid ym dnA

.aedi elohw eht gid t’nod tsuj I .nosrep a sa meht tuoba gnihtemos syas yllautca nrob erew yeht yad eht no 1# saw taht gnos eht fi sa ro gnos eht htiw od ot gnihtyna dah yeht fi sA .htiw detaicossa era yeht gnos ralucitrap eht fo duorp ,koobecaF eno siht gnitsop eb ot smees enoyrevE .nonemonehp ”nrob erew uoy yad eht gnos 1#“ eht fo kcis fo dnik gnitteg m’I ,yakO

I Hate The “Number 1 Song The Day You Were Born” Phenomenon

David S. Atkinson — Mon, 23 Jan 2012 00:00:32 +0000

Okay, I’m getting kind of sick of the “#1 song the day you were born” phenomenon. Everyone seems to be posting this one Facebook, proud of the particular song they are associated with. As if they had anything to do with the song or as if the song that was #1 on the day they were born actually says something about them as a person. I just don’t dig the whole idea.

And my distaste for this issue has nothing to do with the fact that I was born in the mid-70′s and probably was born when an absolutely rotten song was popular. There were some great songs in the 70′s, but the chances just aren’t good.

Let me further say that my distaste has absolutely nothing at all to do with the fact that the #1 song the day I was born was Tonight’s the Night (Gonna Be Alright) by Rod Stewart.

I mean, really? I get a Rod Stewart song? This game sucks.

But I assure you, I disliked this whole idea before finding that unpleasant fact out. Really, I’m not lying here. I didn’t jump on the bandwagon at first and get ready to post and then got pissed when I found out that my song sucked. I didn’t then lie about it. Really, I really didn’t.

People Shouldn’t Be Confused By Stephen Colbert’s Satirical Run For President Even If He Gets Satirically Elected

David S. Atkinson — Sun, 22 Jan 2012 00:00:07 +0000

People seemed to be getting confused by Stephen Colbert’s satirical run for president. Apparently, people are having increasing trouble telling the difference between satire and seriousness as Stephen Colbert and others blur the line between satire and politics. To be frank, some people don’t understand whether he is really thinking of running for president or not.

Really, they should not be confused, though I can certainly understand why they are confused. More and more entertainers are getting involved with politics. Sometimes they are entertainers who have actually gotten involved with politics. Other times they are entertainers doing a shtick about politics. It can be difficult to tell which is which, presuming that there really is a difference.

After all, Al Franken is an entertainer. He is also a politician. As an entertainer, he was a political-oriented entertainer. As a politician, he is an entertaining politician. He is seriously a politician, though, but it can get confusing.

Ronald Reagan also confused people. There were at least three people in Alabama who kept writing into their local news during the entire Reagan presidency asking why Bonzo was getting so little air time. They never did understand that Reagan was actually president, and I can’t really blame them.

However, people should be clear about Stephen Colbert. He is satirically running for president. Even if he satirically gets elected president, it is satire. If satirically elected, he will satirically run this country and satirically represent us abroad, guarding our foreign interests in the world satirically. He would satirically propose legislation, influence congress in a satirical fashion, satirically negotiate with other world leaders, satirically veto legislation he does not satirically agree with, and nominate justices to the supreme court in a purely satirical fashion. If he satirically serves four years as satirical president, he would satirically seek and additional satirical term. Then he would satirically endorse another satirical candidate for the next presidency.

Are we clear? It shouldn’t be that confusing. Hopefully this helps. We now return you to the normally broadcast satirical coverage of the Stephen Colbert satirical bid for president of the satirical United States. Thank you and good night.

This Is Awesome: Covering A Trial With Puppets

David S. Atkinson — Sat, 21 Jan 2012 00:00:41 +0000

I can’t believe it has taken so long for this to happen, but apparently WOIO in Cleveland is covering the Akron federal corruption trial of ex-Cuyahoga County Commissioner Jimmy Dimora (a longtime Democratic power broker in Cleveland) with puppets. The court for the trial apparently banned cameras, so WOIO has resorted to using puppets. One of the puppets is apparently a “talking squirrel ‘reporter who provides the play-by-play in an exaggerated, ‘you won’t believe this’ tone.”

I have to say, it’s about fucking time. I’m so sick of some of the stuff we see on the news because it just keeps happening and never seems to get any better. Why not try it with puppets? At least then we give humanity the seriousness it deserves.

Frankly, I just don’t think this goes far enough. All our news coverage needs to be done with puppets and mocking tones. Political coverage (especially of the election), business news, it could all be improved with puppets. Plus, then it might finally be interesting in some way other than a familiarize-yourself-with-how-we’re-all-sinking-into-the-mire kind of way. I love puppets.

Now, supposedly WOIO is only using the puppets to supplement their serious coverage. They are very clear about that in the article, that they are actually covering the trial in a serious fashion. Supposedly, the puppets are just satire and are not intended to replace actual trial coverage.

Cowards. Screw the normal coverage. Just cover everything with puppets. People suck. Except for news coverage about puppets. We’ll still have to use actual people for that. I mean, let’s be reasonable.

SOPA and PIPA Sound Like Nickelodeon Characters

David S. Atkinson — Fri, 20 Jan 2012 00:00:51 +0000

People are all talking about SOPA and PIPA. Many of them are talking about what SOPA and PIPA sound like. One friend mentioned that he thought that Pipa Sopa was a girl he met in the UK. You know…I kind of have to agree, though personally I thought that PIPA and SOPA sounded like a pair of characters on a Nickelodeon show.

Can’t you just see it? The madcap adventures of PIPA and SOPA. Perhaps they’d be a pair of cartoon aliens, little cute green martians, who live in New Jersey and try to run a delicatessen with the expectable hilarious results because they don’t understand what humans consider food and/or what are appropriate human food-related customs. Perhaps PIPA could be the smart anal-retentive one and SOPA could be the artistic and carefree but somewhat stupid one. Nickelodeon seemed to use that combination a lot. Either way, they have to try to make the delicatessen work in order to blend in with humans until they get enough money to fix their ship, which they broke while on Earth during an argument over who was going to wash the dishes.

I don’t know, it actually kind of sounds like something I would have watched. Or, maybe I did watch that program and I’m just remembering it in a hazy, half-recalled sort of way. Was this already a show?

Either way, it sounds a whole lot better than the reality behind SOPA and PIPA. I bet neither of those bills includes anything about a wacky old neighbor who is constantly trying to prove people are aliens but secretly comes to care for and protect them because he has a heart of gold. What good are they without that?

In Protest of SOPA and PIPA, There Will Be No Actual Post Today.

David S. Atkinson — Thu, 19 Jan 2012 00:00:40 +0000

In support of the protest against SOPA and PIPA, there will be no actual post on this blog today. Sorry, but I couldn’t figure out how to black it out and I had to be on the Internet for work and couldn’t stay off entirely anyway. This was the best I could do, though I did sign the Google petition.