My Bologna Has A First Name

My bologna has a first name. It also has a dead end job, a crippling mortgage, and several concerning moles. My bologna has a two car garage, an expanded basic cable package, and a vague dissatisfaction with the way Alf ended. It has joo joo eyeball, toe jam football, monkey finger, and hair down to its knee. It has an existential crisis centering on the disappearance of Ripple from the liquor section of its local supermarket. It’s got the Mott’s.

Bologna can have all sorts of things when you don’t eat it. I generally avoid eating bologna. Don’t even know why I have it in the first place.

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A Tide Pod Confession

I have a Tide pod confession. My confession is that I have never had any urge to eat a Tide pod. I have had the urge to pop them, like bubble wrap perhaps, but it has never occurred to me to consider eating them.

I’m still hoping no one is really doing this and the stuff I’ve been seeing recently is urban legend and people being gullible that someone might really do this.

Don’t disabuse me of this if I am wrong.

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Remember Yesterday?

Remember yesterday when I asked what band I was and showed these four pictures?

Here’s the answer:

Yeah, I know. This was awful.

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Quick! What Band Am I?

Quick! What band am I?

Get it?

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I Think I’m Going To Delete The Individual Facebook Pages For My Books

Back when I was originally starting to promote my books, I made Facebook pages for each that I could post individual book news at. I have one for Bones Buried in the Dirt, one for The Garden of Good and Evil Pancakes, one for Not Quite so Stories, and one for Apocalypse All the Time. I’m thinking about deleting them though by the end of March. I’m also thinking of not creating one for my new book coming out in July when I get into full promotion for that one. I’m just getting sick of Facebook harassing me all the time.

I mean, I have a Facebook author page as well. Everything I post on the individual book pages gets posted on the main Facebook author page too. They’re kind of redundant, and I think mainly people who have already read the books liked the pages. That means they don’t serve much purpose, particularly given that news about them tends to get sparser as they get further away from when they were first published. Facebook’s harassment doesn’t get less though. That means they aren’t useful to promote books and I have to deal with a good amount of my Facebook notifications being total garbage.

Seriously, I get maybe 5-30 Facebook notifications for each page for each post that I do. Facebook is always giving me notifications about boosting posts, discounts for boosting posts, notices that I cross posted, suggestions about posting, reminders to post, and all kinds of other garbage. There’s no way to turn it off that I can find…other than killing the pages.

So why not? I’ll just set a date. March 31. Anyone who likes one of the individual book pages can always go like the main Facebook author page instead. By April 1, the other pages die. I just can’t take it any more.

Facebook does not make it very fun to have pages.

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You Might Want To Stand Back

You might want to stand back for this. Somehow, the wheel on the back of our Dyson Animal DC25 broke off (no idea, found it that sitting where we’d left it, looked like someone had glued it at some point so perhaps one of our house guests/cleaners over the years but neither my wife nor I had any idea what had happened) and it looks like I need to replace the stabilizer. I’m not exactly a handy kind of guy.

I think I’ve ordered the right part. It arrived and now I need to put it on. What will happen? Will I break it worse than it already is? Will I manage to get this all assembled and disassembled correctly? Will this end life on the planet?

We’ll have to see. I’m writing this before I begin. I have no idea how this will go.

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