“Not Quite so Stories” Blurbs! Bud Smith!

Ready for our next blurb for Not Quite so Stories? Today: Bud Smith!

Bud Smith‘s bio is far too long to fully do justice to here. Head of Unknown Press; author of Or Something Like That, Tollbooth, Everything Neon, and F 250; co-author of Tables Without Chairs; and much more. I even understand that he’s not the kind of guy you want to fuck with:

And now, the blurb:

“Not Quite Stories doesn’t have stories, sentences, paragraphs, characters, nah, it has bright explosions of color that will knock you over. David S. Atkinson is Kurt Vonnegut and Aimee Bender wrestling spotted leopards as George Saunders eats popcorn and claps.”

— Bud Smith, author of F 250

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“Not Quite so Stories” Blurbs! H.L. Nelson!

Ready for our next blurb for Not Quite so Stories? Today: H.L. Nelson!

H.L. Nelson is the founding editor of Cease, CowsHer publications include Nightmare, The Big Click, and many others. Her story “A Creature Comes Home” was chosen by Kevin Brockmeier for The Masters Review Volume IV anthology. She also co-edited the dark fiction anthology Choose Wisely: 35 Women Up to No Good (Upper Rubber Boot Books).

And now, the blurb:

There are few contemporary writers I’ve read who can convey so much weirdness, dry wit, and je ne sais quoi in such a small space as David S. Atkinson. His Not Quite So Stories are strange literary adventures for the child in all of us–even us crusty old farts.

— H.L Nelson, founding editor of Cease, Cows literary magazine and co-editor of Choose Wisely: 35 Women Up To No Good.

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“Not Quite so Stories” Blurbs! Nate Tower!

It’s time to start sharing blurbs for Not Quite so Stories (my new short story collection due out March 1, 2016 from Literary Wanderlust)! I like to reveal these one at a time, but they’ve already started getting out there. That doesn’t matter though! I’m going to do it anyway.

First up: Nate Tower!

Everyone knows Nate. Founding editor of Bartleby Snopes, author of A Reason to Kill, Hallways and Handguns, Nagging Wives, Foolish Husbands, and more; juggler; joggler; and so on. Nate needs no introduction, which is why I just gave him one.

And now, his blurb:

With Not Quite So Stories, there’s no need to suspend disbelief. David S. Atkinson makes the absurd 100% believable. These stories are hilarious and real. Atkinson is on his way to becoming the master of absurdity.

— Nathaniel Tower, author of Nagging Wives, Foolish Husbands

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Happy Easter!

Happy Easter!


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Who Still Sends Junk Faxes?

We have fax machines at work. As much as it amazes me that we still have fax machines, there are still uses for them. However, I don’t use them much. Should I need to get a fax, they have it configured to email me any faxes directly to my in box. This gives rise to a situation I’ve never encountered before. People still send junk faxes.

Seriously, every couple of days I get some poorly rasterized image about roofing, loans, vacation offers, and other similar junk. Who still sends these things? I know people send spam emails because a certain portion of the population actually falls for them, but junk faxes? Is anyone still listening to these?

I just can’t believe someone still sends these things. I have no cause to receive faxes 99.99999% percent of the time. I can just delete these immediately unless I’m expecting something in particular. It just baffles me that someone is still bothering to send them. I can’t even respect them as spammers, which isn’t much to begin with.

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My Wife Is No Longer Allowed To Use Packing Tape On The Furniture/Stairs

My wife is no longer allowed to use packing tape on the furniture or carpet. Our cats have been scratching a bit at a couple couches and chairs and on some of our carpeted stairs. My wife got the bright idea to put packing tape over the commonly scratched bits, rolled a little at the ends so it would stick but the adhesive side would face out.

This was supposed to discourage scratching.

And, it probably did. However, the tape wasn’t stuck very well like that. The other problem? Our cat Oscar is kind of dim.


Twice now I have come downstairs to see Oscar wandering around completely oblivious to the fact that a half foot or so section of packing tape is dangling from his face, mashed into his whiskers. Literally, he was walking around both times like he had no idea it was there. It was mashed down on his whiskers pretty good too. I had to make my wife hold him both times while I held his whiskers near the base and tried to pull the ends from the tape.

They were really on there, most of their length, and I wanted to make really sure I wasn’t pulling his whiskers out of his face. Poor little dim guy.

I’m not sure if he lost any whiskers on this or not. He didn’t seem to be fond of the process, but I don’t think I hurt him. He didn’t squeak or anything (he doesn’t exactly meow or talk much), and he seemed to forget the entire thing a moment later.

I’m just glad I managed to free him both times without significant problems. Clearly we can’t use packing tape to keep the cats from scratching on stuff. It’s too dangerous with Oscar around.

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An IKEA Joke!

I came up with an IKEA joke! A friend and I were making fun of IKEA names on Facebook (including references to IKEA or death metal) and I came up with the below. As usual when I amuse myself too greatly with a comment I make on Facebook, I decided to share it here to get more mileage out of it.

Okay, now the joke. What do you get at IKEA for the person who has everything? Lack!

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