Thanksgiving Week Part 5: Snatching TVs Drunk on Black Friday

Normally, I do not go to black Friday sales. The drunken episode at Target at 4am today was an exception. Normally, I do not like waiting in lines just to get into a store I can just walk into normally. I do not like standing out in 20 degree temperatures. I do not like fighting masses of people just to get my hands on some piece of junk that is ten bucks off the normal price. I do not like being lumped with the general masses that are sheeplike enough to have their appetites dictated by marketing campaigns.

However, I did end up going to Target at an ungodly early time this morning. I actually had a good bit of fun. Of course, there was potential trouble. This is probably why it was fun.

This all started with a simple trip to an old bar up in Benson. My girlfriend and I went there to drink and see an old friend we hadn’t seen for a while. The bartender was also a friend and so we hung around when he locked the place up at 2am (side note: kudos to Omaha for finally extending the drinking hours to match those directly across the river). Apparently he had thoughts about hitting black Friday over at Target at 4am. He wanted one of the doorbusters they had (products priced extremely low to pull in people for black friday but stocked in such small number only those waiting in line get one). A 46 inch LCD TV for $500. My girlfriend (still pretty sober which is good since she is the one that ended up doing the driving) thought this sounded fun. I was hammered so I was down and we went over to the bartender’s house for some more drinks until the store open.

As it happens, we didn’t wait in line because the store was open when we got there. That was good, but that meant that all the TVs had been snatched. Not that this troubled me. I was pretty hammered so I was having a good time.

However, hanging around the electronics section, I noticed a gentleman who had one of the TVs we were after in his cart. I kept an eye on him, trying to figure out how we were going to make this work. I didn’t know what I really had in mind, just something. I was pretty drunk.

Suddenly, our target parked his cart at the end of an aisle and walked about 5 feet away to look at something. My girlfriend and I ran up and snatched the TV out of his cart. Then we dashed off to go find our bartender friend and deliver the ill-gotten TV to him.

Hey, this isn’t illegal, right? He hadn’t bought it yet. At that point it was still merchandise in a store. Free for anyone to purchase. We had as much right to buy it as him, other than the fact it was in his cart. Perhaps not the most courteous guesture, but thems the breaks. The quickest survive on black friday. Besides, I was drunk.

I’m kind of surprised we didn’t get found out. We found our bartender friend and loaded the TV into his cart, but the line to pay was humongous. Pretty much ran the length of the store. I was sure the guy we’d snatched the TV form was going to show up at some point with security, since he had to know we’d have to wait in line forever and he could look for us, but we never saw him. Our bartender friend paid for the TV and we spent twenty minutes jamming it into my Corolla so we could drive it back to his house.

Frankly, this was probably the best way to handle black friday. At the end of a drunken bender with silliness and raucousness. It was cool. We caused some havoc and had some great fun. Waking up was a bit painful tho’. I’d been drinking since 10pm and we didn’t get back to the hotel until 7am. But hey, things are tough all over.

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About David S. Atkinson

David S. Atkinson enjoys typing about himself in the third person, although he does not generally enjoy speaking in such a fashion. However, he is concerned about the Kierkegaard quote "Once you label me you negate me." He worries that if he attempts to define himself he will, in fact, nullify his existence...
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1 Response to Thanksgiving Week Part 5: Snatching TVs Drunk on Black Friday

  1. stacy says:

    makes me want to drink alchoholic beverages

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