My Idea For A New Pirates Of The Caribbean Sequel

I was thinking, since the rapture didn’t happen on May 21, 2011, I can now go and see the newest Pirates of the Caribbean movie.  That is, for anyone who was hiding in a basement for the last however long assuming the rapture was actually going to occur, Pirates of the Caribbean: On Stranger Tides.

I know some people were hesitant about this one, myself included.  I mean, everyone had kind of thought the franchise had run its course (immensely popular though it was).  Keira Knightley and Orlando Bloom, two of the big hotness draws in the movie (respectively depending on your sexual orientation), were not going to be in it because they didn’t want to do Pirates of the Caribbean movies anymore and/or their character’s storylines were done.  Some people thought they were just milking the franchise for all it was worth and that this would end up like Police Academy 7: Mission to Moscow.

However, I am happy to report that the film is actually doing pretty well.  I’m certainly going to go and see it, and why not?  Captain Jack Sparrow is in it.  That’s enough of a draw right there.  It has to be one of my favorite roles Johnny Depp has ever performed (Hunter Thompson excepted).  I can probably keep watching the antics of Captain Jack Sparrow as long as they keep releasing movies.  I’ve heard that Depp will stay with the role as long as they keep making movies as well.  Apparently he likes the fact that his kids can actually watch movies that he’s in.

Frankly, I even have my own sequel idea where the movie is nothing but Captain Jack Sparrow stumbling around in a room, alone, talking to himself.  Granted, they did a little of this when Jack was in Davy Jones’s locker in Pirates of the Caribbean: At World’s End, but I don’t think we’ve exhausted the possibilities yet.  I think it could carry a whole movie and the savings on special effects would be incredible.  Hell, I’d watch.  Perhaps we could call it: Pirate of the Caribbean: All Jacked Up.

Now, perhaps everybody doesn’t feel this way.  Perhaps not everyone’s favorite part of Evil Dead II was where Bruce Campbell fights with his own hand by himself for a half an hour.  If this is the case, then I guess the franchise owners will have to keep putting in other, what I feel are unnecessary, plot elements that don’t just involve Captain Jack Sparrow into the Pirates of the Caribbean sequels.  I guess I’ll still watch those too.

About David S. Atkinson

David S. Atkinson enjoys typing about himself in the third person, although he does not generally enjoy speaking in such a fashion. However, he is concerned about the Kierkegaard quote "Once you label me you negate me." He worries that if he attempts to define himself he will, in fact, nullify his existence...
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