Your Life Has Gone Seriously Wrong If Anyone Can Ever Remark About You That “an officer noticed his resemblance to the toilet suspect”

Okay, your life is seriously fucked up if anyone can ever say “an officer noticed his resemblance to the toilet suspect” about you.  I’m just saying.  If this is ever true it is time to just pack it in because you are done.  Things aren’g going to be going up from there.  You might as well quit before things get any worse.

As with many things that I say, one might ask what the hell I am talking about.  I would say that is a fair question.  Get ready for this one, this all relates to an article I just saw with the headline: “Colo. police nab man accused of hiding in toilet.”  Really, what more do I need to say by way of explanation?

Anyway, apparently Luke Ivan Chrisco was in the midst of being arrested in a panhandling incident when police noticed that Chrisco resembled a man who had been caught hiding inside the tank of a porta potty at a Boulder yoga festival.  Some woman had gone into the portable toilet and saw some guy down inside when she lifted the lid.  A man went in and checked and saw the guy hiding down there under a tarp.

Of course, the man in the toilet got away.  Despite being pinned down in there, security did not manage to stop him when from running away when he got out.  I don’t know why people didn’t just bar the door, but I can understand why the security guy didn’t tackle him when he got out.  After all, the perp was covered in shit.

Regardless, Chrisco was picked up for panhandling and they noted the resemblance to the guy who’d hid in the toilet and he is now facing charges.  Frankly, I wish this was the first time I’d heard about somebody caught hiding inside the tank of a porta potty (or one of the more semi-permanent outhouse style ones some parks and rest stops have).  Unfortunately, it’s not.

What do you even say about this?  Anybody who gets down inside the crap tank of a toilet to spy on people is sick.  I’m sorry, I try to be as understanding about what trips other peoples’ triggers as much as I can, but this is just too far (even beyond the fact that I never try to extend understanding to people whose “thing” involves victimizing other people).  This guy might as well just throw in the towel now, because his life is already pretty bad and I’m not thinking it’s going to get any better from here on out.

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About David S. Atkinson

David S. Atkinson enjoys typing about himself in the third person, although he does not generally enjoy speaking in such a fashion. However, he is concerned about the Kierkegaard quote "Once you label me you negate me." He worries that if he attempts to define himself he will, in fact, nullify his existence...
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2 Responses to Your Life Has Gone Seriously Wrong If Anyone Can Ever Remark About You That “an officer noticed his resemblance to the toilet suspect”

  1. Pingback: FunOdd.com

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