I Don’t Get What Is The Big Deal About The IKEA Opening In Colorado: It’s A Furniture Store, Not A Way Of Life

Okay, I’m just going to say at the start that I really don’t get what the big deal is about the IKEA opening in Centennial, Colorado.  I really don’t.  It’s a furniture store.  That’s it.  It is not a way of life.  It is not the messiah.  It is not the next biggest thing since the Alan Parsons Project.

However, check out this article for proof that some people think otherwise.  These people are, of course, freaks.  I say that in the nicest way possible, but they are.  Check out the video included in the article.  People camped out for TWO DAYS!  Two fucking days of their lives gone so they could be the first in the brand new IKEA.  Not only that, they wore costumes.  People chanted.  Some log was sawn in half for reasons that aren’t immediately clear.  Even the governor and at least one state congressperson were on hand.

What the hell is wrong with these people?  It’s a damn FURNITURE store!  I’m sure these people have furniture.  What is the big deal?  Maybe they think IKEA is really cool, I don’t know.  I know that it is supposed to be well made, bland furniture and that it is a closely held corporation with a charity holding a big share of the profits, but that’s about all I know.  Camping out?  Costumes?

Admittedly, some of the first people in line got a free couch.  Other people after them got other giveaways that I haven’t bothered to look into.  Still, really?  Two fucking days?  These people acted like they had just attended Woodstock, not the opening of a new retail establishment location.  IKEA is not a phenomenon.  IKEA is not the second coming.  IKEA is not the greatest thing since sliced bread (note: intentional reference to Don Robertson).

So, I don’t get what the big celebration is for over the opening of another furniture store.  Sorry, but I don’t.  If there is anything big here, though, I’m sure I’ll find out.  My fiancée will be making me go there soon enough.  Or, possibly too soon.  We’ll have to see about that one.

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About David S. Atkinson

David S. Atkinson enjoys typing about himself in the third person, although he does not generally enjoy speaking in such a fashion. However, he is concerned about the Kierkegaard quote "Once you label me you negate me." He worries that if he attempts to define himself he will, in fact, nullify his existence...
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