Looking For A Crew, Me Hearties! Plundering The Space Boat!

Attention, me hearties!  We be looking for a crew of the most savage and adventurous buccaneers that Earth has to offer!  By we, of course, I mean co-captains Davidbeard the pirate (me) and Yo Ho Joe (Joseph Michael Owens).  We be taking on NASA this time, and we ain’t comin’ home until we find treasure!

Our target?  TIME (Titan Mare Explorer).  We heard from this here article that NASA is planning itself a space boat vessel.  Apparently, according to the article, NASA’s Cassini orbiter discovered seas of liquid ethane and methane on the –300ºF surface of Saturn’s moon Titan.  Further apparently, these are the only bodies of liquid we know of that exist anywhere but on Earth and NASA is planning to spend $3 million to send TIME to float this sea and explore.

Me and Joe got to thinkin’, Titan is a hell of a long way from Earth and NASA would never expect pirates.  It’s ripe for the plucking.  We could swoop right in, board the vessel, and NASA couldn’t do a thing about it.  We’d be the terror of the liquid ethane and methane sea.

Of course, you might think that there might not be much treasure involved here.  However, do you realize how much gold and platinum and such go into these space probes?  There’s riches to be had, I tells ya.  Riches!  Undefended!

Now, we admits that we still got a few details we needs to work out, like how the hell we’re going to get to Titan and how we’re going to get a vessel that can sail there without killin’ us all.  However, we’re assurin’ ye that all that will be worked out in due course.  We don’t think that any squab worthy of joinin’ our crew would balk at a challenge like any of the above.

So, if you’re not a scurvy yellow dog to afraid to seek adventure and fortune on the wide ocean whatever color liquid ethane and methane are, then comment below.  We gots a few years to go through applications and pick the kind of crew that any pirate worth his parrot would trade both his wooden legs for (apologies to Marty Feldman and the movie Yellowbeard for the misappropriation and misuse involved in the last line above).

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About David S. Atkinson

David S. Atkinson enjoys typing about himself in the third person, although he does not generally enjoy speaking in such a fashion. However, he is concerned about the Kierkegaard quote "Once you label me you negate me." He worries that if he attempts to define himself he will, in fact, nullify his existence...
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3 Responses to Looking For A Crew, Me Hearties! Plundering The Space Boat!

  1. Joseph Michael Owens says:

    This is definitely one our better ideas. We’ll fly a black skull (in a space helmet) and crossbones flag and have canons, at least for decorative purposes. Epic win!

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