Warning: Your iPad Will No Longer Function Because Steve Jobs Is No Longer CEO Of Apple!

Warning: your iPad will no longer function now that Steve Jobs is no longer CEO of Apple!  Worse, it will begin running Windows 7 without any explicable reason.  Your iPhone will start randomly making calls to 1-900 numbers in Bulgaria and your iPod will actually attempt to murder you.  New CEO Tim Cook will be on the situation, but frankly he will be pretty busy turning the company’s focus back to an OS 9 based model.

I am, of course, being completely facetious.  This is all completely ridiculous.  Then again, the fact that Apple’s stock took a hit after Steve Jobs announced that he was stepping down is ridiculous as well.

I mean, I know that Apple was not experiencing its current levels of profitability before Steve Jobs retook the helm.  I know changing of CEOs can affect a company greatly.  However, it is still just one guy.  Even Steve Jobs is just one guy (until the new iClone comes out at least).  Apple still has the iPad.  And the iPod.  And the iPhone.  And the MacBook Air.  Apple is still cool.  They’re still going to be making bunches and bunches of money and look cool doing it.

I’m sorry.  I guess I just think that all the panic in the media about this is a little too much to stomach.  Yeah, Steve Jobs is a big person for Apple.  However, I don’t think this is going to affect them as much as people seem to think.  The world is not ending.  Anyway, that’s just my two cents.

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About David S. Atkinson

David S. Atkinson enjoys typing about himself in the third person, although he does not generally enjoy speaking in such a fashion. However, he is concerned about the Kierkegaard quote "Once you label me you negate me." He worries that if he attempts to define himself he will, in fact, nullify his existence...
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4 Responses to Warning: Your iPad Will No Longer Function Because Steve Jobs Is No Longer CEO Of Apple!

  1. He’s probably the core of the company though—right?

  2. I simply stated that a couple of days ago!!!

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