Jumbo Marshmallows: Not As Cool As You Might Think

You know, I kept seeing bags of jumbo marshmallows at the store and I kept thinking wow, those would be really cool for roasting.  Big as marshmallows.  Right?  Nope.  Turns out they kind of suck.

I mean, they seemed like a great idea.  I love roasting marshmallows, but you never get enough at a time.  Roasting takes forever to get that perfect crispy golden outside, mushy hot inside.  Bigger is better, right?  Wrong.

One thing I didn’t stop to think about is the fact that bigger also takes longer to cook.  Turns out, the normal timing mechanisms don’t work.  Normal size you just wait until the outside is a crispy golden brown.  By then, the inside is all melty.  Not jumbos.  When the outside is crispy golden brown, the inner inside is largely unaffected.  To melt the inside you pretty much have to burn the outside.  Some people like that, but those people are seriously deranged.

So, jumbo marshmallows turn out to pretty much suck for roasting.  It was quite a blow for me to find this out and I’m not sure I will ever emotionally recover.  Much like when they cancelled Garfield and Friends.

About David S. Atkinson

David S. Atkinson enjoys typing about himself in the third person, although he does not generally enjoy speaking in such a fashion. However, he is concerned about the Kierkegaard quote "Once you label me you negate me." He worries that if he attempts to define himself he will, in fact, nullify his existence...
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4 Responses to Jumbo Marshmallows: Not As Cool As You Might Think

  1. Maybe the amount of pyrophosphate needs to be adjusted in the jumbo recipe.
    But I’m not sure how much pyrophosphate one wants to consume.

    • According to Wikipedia:
      – Tetrasodium pyrophosphate, also called sodium pyrophosphate, tetrasodium phosphate or TSPP, is a colorless transparent crystalline chemical compound with the formula Na4P2O7.
      – Toxicity is approximately twice that of table salt when ingested orally.
      – Common foods containing sodium pyrophosphate include chicken nuggets, marshmallows, pudding, crab meat, imitation crab, canned tuna, and soy-based meat alternatives.

      A toxicity twice that of table salt isn’t exactly alarming, but can’t be real good.

    • In my opinion, this probably isn’t any worse than what’s in most of what is easily available to eat in America. It’s best just not to know about it.

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