Guy At Maine McDonald’s Imitating The ‘Hamburglar’ Gives Me Concerns. Is The Grimace Next?

I saw the headline: “‘Hamburglar’ strikes at Maine McDonald’s” and immediately I became concerned. This could suggest that there are serious problems coming and, indeed, all humanity may be in danger.

Apparently, there is nothing to suggest that this guy really was imitating the Hamburglar. For one thing, he got the food. That never happened for the Hamburglar. I should know, I watch a lot of commercials. All that happened was that he ran and grabbed the food a worker was handing to a customer through a drive-thru window. The cops found him nearby eating the food, but somehow the guy still got away into the woods.

Really, the news just thought it would be funny to compare this guy to the Hamburglar. This is not as bad of news as if he had actually been intentionally imitating. The Hamburglar himself would not be so concerning, but it would be a bad trend. After all, what if people started imitating the Grimace next?

I mean, everyone knows that the Grimace is immortal. Conventional weapons simply have no effect on him. Further, the Grimace has an unquenchable hunger for human flesh and an insatiable need to cause suffering. The Grimace is a dark soul indeed.

What would we do if someone successfully started imitating the Grimace? We could not stop them. We could only hide in our homes with the lights out and hope for the intercession of Ronald McDonald. More likely than not, we would all die.

But, if this guy wasn’t really imitating the Hamburglar then maybe things haven’t gotten so far yet. Maybe someone won’t get the idea to imitate the Grimace and cause a terrifying end to all of humanity. Really, we can only hope.

About David S. Atkinson

David S. Atkinson enjoys typing about himself in the third person, although he does not generally enjoy speaking in such a fashion. However, he is concerned about the Kierkegaard quote "Once you label me you negate me." He worries that if he attempts to define himself he will, in fact, nullify his existence...
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