My Life While My Wife Is In Mexico: Day One

Well, my wife left late last night to spend a week in Playa del Carmen, Mexico and leave me at home alone. As such, I need to find things to do to keep myself occupied while she is gone. I though, why not make a few modifications to the house? She won’t mind, right?

I mean, why not take this opportunity to add a few more bookshelves to the house? We have a lot of wall space where bookshelves could go. Sure, she has been against me adding any new bookshelves in the past, insisting that I have as many books as I should be allowed to have, but surely she would have changed her mind while she was in Mexico and unable to stop me.

Bookshelves in the hallway, bookshelves on the stairs, bookshelves in the bathrooms, hanging bookshelves that descend from the ceiling. Wall to wall bookshelves everywhere. Bookshelves everywhere that bookshelves might fit.

And hell, why stop there? I’ll take out the closets and replace them with bookshelves. After all, you can’t wear more than one outfit at a time anyway. You really only need one.

And why not take out the stairs (both the stairs going upstairs from the living room and the stairs going downstairs to the basement) and replace them with bookshelf stairs? They’ll still function the same and they’ll have the added feature of holding books.

Perhaps I should even take out a few of the more useless items in the house like the fridge, the stove, the kitchen island, the washer and dryer, the furnace, and so on and replace them all with bookshelves. After all, books are more useful than all of those other things.

I’m sure my wife will be happy with all this when she gets back from Mexico. I know she thought I already had too many books, but surely she will change her mind when she actually sees how it looks. Or, she will kill me. One of the two. Still, she is the one who left me on my own (as good an idea as leaving Peter Griffin home alone).

About David S. Atkinson

David S. Atkinson enjoys typing about himself in the third person, although he does not generally enjoy speaking in such a fashion. However, he is concerned about the Kierkegaard quote "Once you label me you negate me." He worries that if he attempts to define himself he will, in fact, nullify his existence...
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