Cow Wanders To McDonalds: Worst Possible Place…Or Not?

My first reaction when I saw this article about a cow getting out of its pen and wandering up to a McDonalds drive through to seek attention (read that again) was to laugh. I immediately thought: No! Don’t do it, cow! After all, is a national burger chain a safe place for a cow?

But then I started thinking, a McDonalds may not be such a dangerous place for a cow after all.

Sure, it seems dangerous. It even perhaps seems ironic that a cow gets out of a pen and heads right to a burger place. Sure! Come right on inside! We’ve got some customers we’d like you to meet…along with a bun and some fries.

However, though this thought chain is initially appealing, we may not be thinking of a McDonalds correctly. After all, this is a chain that put pictures on the registers so that as little intelligence and competence was required from potential employees. There are plenty of competent and intelligent people who work for McDonalds, but there are also some who still can’t manage to get your order taken and your food to you correctly. Even with the pictures. Do you really think they know how to slaughter and butcher a cow?

I don’t think so. It’s funny…McDonalds exist to push processed cow (as well as other products) to the masses. Yet, they are likely utterly unable to move back a couple of links in the chain and deal with an actual cow, even if it walks right up to the drive through. Quite simply, if the cow doesn’t arrive as already processed patties, McDonalds employees likely just can’t make any use of it.

It’s kind of like the movies about avoiding a T-Rex. If you stand right in front of the T-Rex and don’t move then it can’t find you. Move to run, and it gobbles you right up. Closest to the danger, though, the T-Rex just isn’t equipped to deal with you. Note, this situation is similar to one of my courses in law school where I was the only one sitting in front and everybody else sat in the fourth row or farther. The professor didn’t ask me a single question the whole term.

Thus, I had to revise my initial reaction to hearing this story. It’s funny that the cow wandered to a McDonalds, but perhaps that was the safest possible place for her to be. Cows may be smarter than we think.

About David S. Atkinson

David S. Atkinson enjoys typing about himself in the third person, although he does not generally enjoy speaking in such a fashion. However, he is concerned about the Kierkegaard quote "Once you label me you negate me." He worries that if he attempts to define himself he will, in fact, nullify his existence...
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