Having compiled data regarding the death of crocs Pearls Before Swine in yesterday’s post, we must now analyze that data, see what conclusions we can come to. Perhaps there is something that may be learned, some vital bit of information. Perhaps not, but let’s give it a shot.
Looking at the data, we can immediately say that there appears no patterns to the type of the deaths. Indeed, Stephan Pastis has come up with a wide variety of ways to kill the crocs in his strip. Analysis of the data in this direction appears to be uninteresting.
However, analysis of the names of the crocs that have died is more interesting. Of the croc deaths I have compiled data regarding: 20 were unnamed crocs, 10 were named Bob, and 3 were named Larry. Beyond these numbers, two were named Frank, two were named Nick, and the rest were single deaths respectively named Vern, Jojo, Clarence, Floyd, Benny, Biff, Willie, Fred, and Burt (note, I believe a croc named Burt had died in a recent strip so I again caution that this data is far from complete and all conclusions should be treated accordingly).
The first thing that jumps out at us from this data is that is appears dangerous to be an unnamed croc (whether a croc that truly has no name or one whose name is simply not mentioned). If I had to advise crocs in Pearls Before Swine, I would suggest to them to make sure that they have names and that they are sure everyone consistently refers to them by that name.
However, we must be careful regarding this conclusion. In fact, Pastis may simply not reference the name of a croc he is going to kill because it is not worth the effort. The croc may not be able to change the fact that Pastis has already settled on death and this advice may be useless.
Far more potentially useful is my advice to any croc named Bob. That advice is: change your name. Evidence indicates that more crocs name Bob die than any other croc. Specifically, 10 crocs named Bob die whereas the next runner-up, Larry, only has 3 instances. Clearly, it is dangerous in Pearls Before Swine to be a croc named Bob.
Any croc in Pearls Before Swine should take care not to be named Bob. If a croc is already named Bob, that croc should change its name. If nothing else, go for a nickname or variation like Bobby or Robert. I have no evidence of any crocs named Bobby or Robert dying.
Now, some people might think that it is a misuse of science to advise crocs in Pearls Before Swine regarding names and the relationship of such to their potential demise. I ask, however, what else is science for? Given that my research examined 46 croc deaths in the comic, I say they could use our help. Besides, this is just where the evidence led. Surely I can’t be blamed for that.