Clipboard People On The 16th Street Mall Do Not Get To Pretend They Are Just Ordinary People

Clipboard people on the 16th street mall in Denver: you do not get to pretend that you are ordinary people. You are asking for money. That is the only reason you are there. You do not get to be offended if people don’t want to talk to you.

Seeing as it is likely that people from places other than Denver might read this, I should explain. When the weather is nice the 16th street mall in Denver (a mile or so long walking mall of shops and such where only free shuttles are supposed to be on the street though sometimes that doesn’t always happen quite right), the clipboard people come out.

Clipboard people are people with clipboards who are trying to raise money for one or more various charities. Greenpeace, ACLU, some save the children like thing, and so on. They accost you on the street (sometimes blocking your way to get you to stop), try to trap you into a conversation, and then try to get money.

Worse, there can be hundreds of these fuckers on the 16th street mall at a given time. I travel the 16th street mall at least 10 times a week. I can often see between two and ten of these fuckers in the 6 block portion of the 16th street mall that I travel.

Now, I know that these are just people trying to make a living (They aren’t volunteers but are instead poorly paid employees who may or may not give a fuck about their organization. Trust me, I’ve talked to a lot of them). They are collecting for charity (though they often only can accept certain donation amounts and thus won’t just take what you are willing to give them). However, they just don’t stop. There are so many of them so often. It’s completely fucking insane.

Actually, some of them are all right. They try to talk to you, but if you clearly don’t want to talk to them they will politely let you walk on. However, the worst are the ones that try to pretend that they are just ordinary friendly people (sometimes even interrupting an actual social conversation you are having because they are inconsiderate bastards). Then, if you don’t want to talk to them, they act like you are some sort of nasty, antisocial asshole.

These are the clipboard people I’m specifically addressing here, the fuckheads. Look, fuckheads: you are not ordinary people being social. You are a paid employee asking for money. We can see the clipboard. You can’t fucking hide that. Thus, you do not get to use guilt for lack of human treatment. You are a money-making venture and will be treated as such. Now go the fuck away.

I’m sure some people will say that these clipboard people are just doing their jobs. This is true and I’m sure it is a really hard job. Still, trying to make me feel like a shit because I’ve talked to hundreds of these fuckers and don’t want to talk to anymore makes them manipulative evil bitches and won’t get money from me anyway. That’s just the way things are.

So, please, clipboard people? Stay the hell away from me. Charities? Every time your clipboard people make me mad I’m just a little less likely to help out your particular cause. I’ll just give my money to somebody who doesn’t use those kind of collection tactics.

About David S. Atkinson

David S. Atkinson enjoys typing about himself in the third person, although he does not generally enjoy speaking in such a fashion. However, he is concerned about the Kierkegaard quote "Once you label me you negate me." He worries that if he attempts to define himself he will, in fact, nullify his existence...
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1 Response to Clipboard People On The 16th Street Mall Do Not Get To Pretend They Are Just Ordinary People

  1. Bob says:

    AGREED 100%

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