If Denver Is Hot Then Phoenix Must Be Molten

I was bitching about how hot it is in Denver yesterday (been in the upper nineties for a while and even broke a hundred on a few days, which is really hot for Denver), but then I started to think…what about Phoenix?

I’ve got a few friends in the Phoenix area (if not at least Arizona in general). I hear from them from time to time about how hot it is there. Usually, Phoenix is still what I would consider hot even when Denver is cold. When Denver is hot, Phoenix must be damn near molten.

As such, I thought I’d take today’s post to ask people to help out the residents of Phoenix. Just do what you can. Send them plastic baggies, buckets, tupperware, old pans, whatever. Just package it all up and send it to the poor people of Phoenix.

Why? Simple, so they can hold onto their streets and homes which must be in a boiling liquid state by now. If Denver is this hot it is clear that Phoenix must have melted and people are going to need stuff to put their molten city in if it isn’t going to drip on down the drain and be lost forever.

(Note, perhaps the containers would also melt when they arrived in Phoenix. Perhaps one should stick to stainless steel containers. Those should at least last a little longer, though I’m not certain. It depends on the high temperature each day as to whether even steel would do well.)

Now, some people may think I’m being silly. I would encourage those people to go to Phoenix right now and see for themselves. I won’t do it, though. It’s fucking hot down there.

About David S. Atkinson

David S. Atkinson enjoys typing about himself in the third person, although he does not generally enjoy speaking in such a fashion. However, he is concerned about the Kierkegaard quote "Once you label me you negate me." He worries that if he attempts to define himself he will, in fact, nullify his existence...
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