Talking Urinal Cakes? Talking Urinal Cakes! Talking Urinal Cakes.

Talking urinal cakes. That’s right, I said talking urinal cakes. Michigan is actually going to start putting talking urinal cakes in urinals (which I suppose is a good place to put urinal cakes). Supposedly, this is supposed to be for reducing drunk driving. Either way, it’s damn weird.

Seriously, isn’t this something we expect to hear about in some weird article about Japan? I’m always seeing weird Japan toilet-related articles. This isn’t, though. This is Michigan (which I do not normally associate with toilet weirdness).

Apparently, according to the article referenced above, the urinal cakes are supposed to (in “an attention-getting woman’s voice”) remind urinal users to call a cab or a friend as opposed to driving drunk. I know this is supposed to be deliberately silly in order to get attention, but it still seems a bit odd.

I can just see how it would go. A very drunk man steps up to use a urinal. A disembodied woman’s voice says: “Have you had too much? Maybe you should take a cab.” The drunk man immediately smashes the urinal and screams: “Don’t you tell me what to do! Fucking talking toilet!”

See? There are so many ways that this could go wrong with drunks. Drunks can get into an argument with anybody, even urinal cakes. Perhaps this could even cause fights between people when two drunks use adjacent urinals at the same time and each end up thinking that it’s the other drunk doing the talking. I really hope that this actually reduces drunk driving, but I don’t have much hope that the thing that has been missing up until this point is a reminder not to drive drunk when peeing.


About David S. Atkinson

David S. Atkinson enjoys typing about himself in the third person, although he does not generally enjoy speaking in such a fashion. However, he is concerned about the Kierkegaard quote "Once you label me you negate me." He worries that if he attempts to define himself he will, in fact, nullify his existence...
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