People keep talking about various important issues facing America today: health care, the economy, reproductive rights, and such. However, very little attention is being paid to one of the most important issues that has ever faced the nation: the impossibility of telling how impressive fireworks will be from their packaging.
Think about it. How often have you bought some giant cake firework for the 4th of July (presuming you live in the US), lit it in eager anticipation, and then been horribly disappointed by the meager show it produced? Some fireworks look impressive (giant and complex packaging, colored papers, text on the side describing all kinds of reports and such that the firework is supposed to have, and so on) and actually are. However, some that look just as impressive are crap. Some that don’t look so impressive turn out to be wonderful.
There seems to be no way to tell. Cost doesn’t tell us anything, some cheap ones are spectacular and some expensive ones have nothing but a three second burst of singular colored sparks. Packaging, size, price…none of it seems to have any necessary relation to the actual impressiveness of a firework. Since the fireworks seem to change every year, there seems to be no way to guarantee what you are actually buying.
Clearly, a law needs to be passed to protect consumers. That law needs to be that the packaging cannot be more impressive than the display provided by the operation of the firework itself. I realize that individual opinions could vary and make this a bit muddy of a law, but I’m sure the details could be hammered out satisfactorily.
I’m just saying, this needs to be done. Some people might not think this is such an important issue, but those people have never paid good money for a piece they planned to use as the finale of their show only to have the thing end up being as dazzling and show-stopping as Kathy Griffin.