Onion Potato Pancakes

I fully admit that it was best to sometimes ignore me as a child. Hell, it might be a good idea to ignore me a great deal of the time now. However, there was at least one time that my parents ignored me and should not have. The consequences weren’t that severe…but I have made it a point never to let them forget it.

This all springs out of the fact that I had severe food allergies as a child. Wheat, eggs, oranges, sugar, peanuts, you name it. I was allergic to all sorts of things. Or, at least my parents claimed. I’m still not entirely sure that I believe I was ever allergic to these things. I certainly am not allergic to them now.

Regardless, wheat was a big problem. You have no idea how horrible a thing rice bread with cashew butter was in the early eighties. Wheat-free bread has come a long way since then. Still, even at the time the biggest problem was pancakes.

How do you tell a child that they can’t have pancakes? It’s an abomination. Further, my parents liked to go to Perkins when I was a kid. What was I going to get at Perkins if not pancakes? Regardless, my parents managed to talk me into potato pancakes instead and I ate these all the time (though I drenched them in syrup like they were real pancakes instead of eating them as potato pancakes are intended).

There was one time when my potato pancakes came out and I found that they tasted funny. Downright bad. There was clearly something wrong, and I told my parents this. They did not listen. They just told me to eat my potato pancakes. As they forced me to keep eating I kept telling them there was something wrong. They kept forcing me to eat the potato pancakes.

Finally, I got my dad to try a taste. He took a bite and immediately spit it out. As it happens, chopped onions were apparently kept in a bin in the Perkins kitchen right next to the chopped potatoes. Some asshole had accidentally made me onion pancakes. And, worse, my parents forced me to eat them because they wouldn’t listen to me (until they finally did) that there was something wrong.

Now, I know that I was always complaining about food as a kid and often took a weird dislike to things for no reason. However, this time they should have listened instead of making me eat onion pancakes. Sure, there is no lasting harm…unless you count me now preferring Village Inn to Perkins. Still, I feel no guilt in continually reminding my parents of that episode. After all, I did have to eat most of the onion pancakes.


About David S. Atkinson

David S. Atkinson enjoys typing about himself in the third person, although he does not generally enjoy speaking in such a fashion. However, he is concerned about the Kierkegaard quote "Once you label me you negate me." He worries that if he attempts to define himself he will, in fact, nullify his existence...
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