Given that I’ve got a lot to do, I decided to give some thought to what my presidential inauguration would look like. It’s not that I ever expect to become president, but one should always be prepared. Besides, nothing is better when there is a lot to do than preparing for eventualities that will never happen.
Obviously, I am no ordinary procrastinator.
But, getting back to my presidential inauguration, this is a serious matter. I forget what shows other presidents have put on when they were inaugurated, but I know it’s been big. I recall that Maya Angelou might have been involved in one or more. In short, it’s got to be a big show.
After all, a presidential inauguration is both a celebration and a set up. It is a celebration of the long and difficult road necessary to get to be president, but it is also a promise of sorts regarding the kind of presidency that will be coming. You can’t cheap out on that sort of shit. It’s got to represent you…and represent you right.
That’s why my presidential inauguration would consist entirely of Bruce Campbell fighting his hand for a half an hour. No one else would be involved, just Bruce and his hand. There would be some swearing, but it would all be Bruce. It would be permissible if Bruce decides to make sounds and pretend like it’s his hand doing it.
Doesn’t that sound presidential? At the very least, it sounds like the kind of president I’d be, Bruce Campbell fighting alone with his hand for a half an hour. Yup, that’d be great. Then I could proceed right onto my ‘boom stick’ state of the union address….