Stealing A Credit Card From A Car? Perhaps You Should Take It A Bit Away Before Using It.

I’m just saying, if you are going to steal a credit card from a car…don’t you think you should go a little ways away before trying to use it? Perhaps not take it to a bar in the immediate vicinity? I don’t think you should steal credit cards at all, but if you do…this might be something you want to keep in mind.

I say this because apparently a homeless guy in Miami reportedly broke into a car, stole a credit card, and tried to use it to buy a drink from a bartender who turned out to be the owner of the card. Just so you can give this guy shit for his rotten luck if you ever meet him, his name is reportedly David Weber.

At first, I just thought about the astronomical odds of this happening. I mean, you steal a credit card and the guy you try to use it on just happens to be the owner? Isn’t that a manifestation of immediate divine punishment? At the very least shouldn’t you and the card owner have a drink to laugh about the impossibility of it all?

Except…then I thought about it more. The article doesn’t say this, but it almost certainly must be the case that David Weber didn’t go very far between stealing the card and trying to use it. The bartender’s car was probably pretty close to the bartender’s bar because the bartender drove himself to work. Weber broke into the car outside the bar and then wandered inside to use the card. Still improbably odds of it all coming out that way (I mean, what are the chances the car you break into outside the bar is the bartender’s?), but not unbelievably improbable.

As such, we have my advice to all of you. If you are going to steal a credit card from a car, you might want to go a ways away before you try to use it. Since the car is there, there is a certain chance you may run into the owner in the area. If the owner was no longer in the area, he or she would probably have driven the car away. Just saying.


About David S. Atkinson

David S. Atkinson enjoys typing about himself in the third person, although he does not generally enjoy speaking in such a fashion. However, he is concerned about the Kierkegaard quote "Once you label me you negate me." He worries that if he attempts to define himself he will, in fact, nullify his existence...
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