I Just Had A Great Idea For An Extremely Annoying Novelty Product

I just had a great idea for an extremely annoying novelty product! Now, I know that if I have great ideas that I shouldn’t just immediately share them. I’m supposed to keep them to myself, research and capitalize the idea, and then implement and exploit it. However, that’s all too much work. I’ll just share it instead.

I was thinking about non-stick spray. You know, cooking spray. Most of the time, it doesn’t really live up to the name. In short, stuff still sticks. Sometimes the cooking spray just burns. Still, it’s often better than nothing and has less calories and fat than butter.

However, if you want to be really technical about it, the name ‘non-stick spray’ is kind of misleading. After all, doesn’t it stick to the pan?

That’s where my idea comes in. I want to make a non-stick spray that doesn’t stick to anything…not to food, not to the pan, not to anything. You spray and the stuff just evaporates right into the air. FOOOOM!!! All of it wasted, but that’s okay because that’s all it really does. Real non-stick spray.

Of course, this would have to be a novelty product because it’s completely useless. You just sell it to people and then watch them get mad when they can’t get it on the pan. When they complain, you just explain that your non-stick spray is the most non-stick of all…and you never promised that they could use it for cooking. It’s kind of like those birthday candles that won’t blow out, except in reverse.

See? It’s a great idea. If you actually put in the work to make money off this, you’re welcome.

About David S. Atkinson

David S. Atkinson enjoys typing about himself in the third person, although he does not generally enjoy speaking in such a fashion. However, he is concerned about the Kierkegaard quote "Once you label me you negate me." He worries that if he attempts to define himself he will, in fact, nullify his existence...
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