What I Would Do If I Became A MacArthur Fellow

A lot of people I know have been talking about the recently announced 2012 MacArthur Fellows. This probably has a lot to do with Junot Díaz making the list. However, I thought I should say what I would do if I was ever lucky enough to get such a grant.

I think I would have to:

– Dress in brown military fatigues, wear a pilot-looking hat, and get a pipe (never lit).

– Go on a campaign to the Philippines (non-violent, even though that wouldn’t be in character).

– Tell everyone to start calling me ‘Doug.’

– Get in an argument with some guy named Truman over something related to China.

– Say things like: “Old soldiers never die; they just fade away” or “We are not retreating – we are advancing in another direction.”

Doesn’t that sound like a good use of a MacArthur fellowship? Surely this is what they intend. If it isn’t, then it should be.


About David S. Atkinson

David S. Atkinson enjoys typing about himself in the third person, although he does not generally enjoy speaking in such a fashion. However, he is concerned about the Kierkegaard quote "Once you label me you negate me." He worries that if he attempts to define himself he will, in fact, nullify his existence...
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