Target Must Hate Apples

I have to conclude that Target hates apples. I have considered other possibilities, but this seems like the most likely situation. It’s the only way that I can explain the condition of the apples I keep finding.

I am fond of apples. If possible, I eat one per day. In order to make that happen, I obviously have to buy apples. My wife and I do most of our shopping at Target, along with a few visits to Whole Foods (which is far too expensive to be our primary grocery store). However, I haven’t had much luck recently with the apples at Target.

I tend to avoid the red delicious apples or the granny smith. I’ve eaten a lot of apples over the years, and far too many of those were red delicious or granny smith. These days, I prefer something with a little more flavor as opposed to simple sweetness or sourness. I can go for a lot of apples: pink ladies, braeburn, fuji apples, honey crisps, and so on. But, these are the ones Target seems to have trouble with.

I’m not entirely sure what it is, but all the Targets I go to in my area (I go to a number of different ones) all seem to have apple troubles for anything other than red delicious or granny smith. The latter tend to be fine, if less tasty, but the former frequently tend to be cut up or bruised. If apples are significantly cut up or bruised, they just aren’t going to last very long and I won’t buy them.

I’m not exaggerating about this. I recently went to load up a bag of honey crisps at Target. I figured I’d be able to find five good ones; there was a bin of hundreds. However, each one I picked up looked like it had been in a bar fight. The apples had to be recent arrivals, the bin was absolutely full, but each one had been beaten around pretty bad. I shifted the apples around. I dug from the bottom. I just could not find five that looked acceptable.

At first I thought perhaps Target’s apple supplier was just being really bad about taking care of their product, not caring what condition it got to the store in. But…surely Target would have done something about their supplier if this was the case. Instead, it kept happening. I never know when I go to Target whether or not I’ll be able to find five apples (that aren’t red delicious or granny smith) that are in a condition I’d be willing to buy.

My only conclusion is that Target hates apples. Sure, they have to carry them. It would look weird if they didn’t. But…the hatred remains. Target can’t help themselves but to take the Apples in back at night and beat the holy crap out of them. It’s the only possible explanation that I’ve been able to think of. Why else would they keep putting out apples like that?


About David S. Atkinson

David S. Atkinson enjoys typing about himself in the third person, although he does not generally enjoy speaking in such a fashion. However, he is concerned about the Kierkegaard quote "Once you label me you negate me." He worries that if he attempts to define himself he will, in fact, nullify his existence...
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4 Responses to Target Must Hate Apples

  1. Buy a big bag here at Hyvee when you’re here next week. They have the _best_ apples imo here in Omaha. I know that doesn’t help you in Denver, but it’d at least allow you a few days of really good apples 😀 Or if you pass by an orchard on your way here, you could stop & see if they still have any apples left. Prob not, because of the drought this year, apple season was a little whacked.

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