Implications Of The Hostess Meltdown You May Not Have Thought Of

I was going to chime in on the Hostess bankruptcy a few days ago, but I was in the midst of my week of Final Fantasy posts. At this point, I wasn’t sure I was going to have much fresh to say. I mean, everyone is talking about this. For good or ill, Hostess is one of the icons that litters modern American consciousness. It is part of us, and now it is gone.

I’ve seen a lot of talk about this: people talking about the union issues, people talking about how we shouldn’t have been eating this stuff anyway, people talking about missing twinkies (or ding dongs, suzie q’s, cupcakes, ho hos, sno balls, and so on and so on). I’ve even heard about people selling twinkies on ebay for absurd prices.

However, there is something people might not yet have considered. If there will be no twinkies…how will we be able to make twinkie wiener sandwiches?

The short answer is that we won’t be able to. The death of the twinkie will mean the death of the twinkie wiener sandwich. It is done.

Have you fully considered the implications of this? How will George try to cheer up Bob now? Will they ever take control of a raggedy UHF station and turn it into the best show in town in order to challenge the established order of the networks? I don’t think so. The twinkie wiener sandwich is vital…but it is no more.

There are dark days ahead. We’ve already considering what life might be like without twinkies…but does it really end there? There are more dark surprises to come once we realize the secondary and third effects of there being no twinkies. We have not yet fully understood the situation…but we will.

About David S. Atkinson

David S. Atkinson enjoys typing about himself in the third person, although he does not generally enjoy speaking in such a fashion. However, he is concerned about the Kierkegaard quote "Once you label me you negate me." He worries that if he attempts to define himself he will, in fact, nullify his existence...
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