I Have To Confess That I Did Go On A Hostess Hunt

I am just going to go ahead and admit it: I did go on a Hostess hunt. I’ve been poking a little fun at all the people freaking out that Hostess closed, but I still went on a hunt to find some Hostess before it was all gone. I don’t intend to do a whole week about Hostess, and I know I already did a Hostess post yesterday, but I just wanted to confess.

After all, I’m not even that big of a Hostess fan. I ate them from time to time, and they did have a permanent presence in my childhood, but I didn’t even think that much of them at this point in my life. I’d get orange cupcakes from time to time, usually about three times a year, but that was about it.

Still, this morning when I went shopping at Target, I checked.  This is what I found:

That’s right, they had one pack of powdered donettes and a honey bun. No twinkies. No ho hos. No ding dongs, pies, suzie qs or anything. I bought the honey bun, just so I could have one last Hostess before they were all gone.

This is the last chance, right? Sure, someone could buy the product line and keep making them, but we don’t know they will. This could be the last chance to ever have one.

I just thought of all the ads in comic books from when I was a kid where Wonder Woman and who all else would defeat villains by showing up with twinkies (I’m serious, this was an ad). Even if they weren’t good for you, even if they weren’t that great a dessert, they were still always there. We all knew what they were.

So, I bought the honey bun. At 570 calories or so for a single serving (the whole bun), I can see why I never at them often (my daily caloric intake is probably 2500 on average).  Regardless, I bought this one.

Then, though, it didn’t seem quite hostess enough. I had my wife stop at a gas station on the way home…but that place only had donettes and fruit pies (though they had more variety in both than target). I even whined enough that she stopped at one more place on the way home, a gas station right by our house. That’s where I struck gold.

That’s right. This place had plenty of varieties of donettes and fruit pies, but they also had cupcakes (both golden and my orange ones), pudding pies, and chocodiles. They didn’t have twinkies, but chocodiles are close (basically a chocolate covered twinkie).

Now I have a honey bun, a set of orange cupcakes, and a chocodile (which I am eating now). I won’t eat more than one in a day, but I will eat each of them as I sit and think about how this will likely be the last time I ever taste a hostess. Important or not, I think it is a necessary thing to stop and think when our icons leave us. Good or bad, Hostess has left its mark on America…and I’m taking at least a moment to think about this.
That’s really all I have so say about this.

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About David S. Atkinson

David S. Atkinson enjoys typing about himself in the third person, although he does not generally enjoy speaking in such a fashion. However, he is concerned about the Kierkegaard quote "Once you label me you negate me." He worries that if he attempts to define himself he will, in fact, nullify his existence...
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