Let’s Confuse Some Doomsday Prophecies

Let’s have some fun today. It seems as if someone confuses something on the Internet that it ends up sooner or later being quoted by someone and thus generating a hopeless tangle of misinformation that can never be unwound. Irritating as that sometimes is, let’s use it to our advantage. Let’s cause some apocalypse confusion.

I thought what we’d do today is to mix and match a bunch of things from various doomsday prophecies in a way that makes no sense at all. If anyone actually picks up on them and repeats them as ‘truth,’ bonus points. In any event, this just seems like fun for me and so I’m doing it.

Here we go:

– Nostradamus predicted the end of Mayans on the 21st day of December 2012.

– God was supposed to rapture all computer systems on the year 2000 because he hadn’t coded the universe with enough decimal places to handle all the Internet addresses that any more beyond those built by then would require. Thankfully, Vatican programmers were able to edit the universe to give God some more decimal places.

– The Mayans predicted that they’d end Nostradamus by hitting him over the head with one of their stone calendars.

– A spaceship was actually waiting behind the Hale–Bopp comet to pick up Heaven’s Gate cult members, but they took off at the last minute because they didn’t want to get involved in the escalating argument between Nostradamus and the Mayans.

– God raptured both Nostradamus and the Mayans because the Hale-Bopp comet needed more decimal places.

Wasn’t that fun? Well, maybe it wasn’t for anyone but me. Thankfully, my own amusement is generally my only motivation for posting something.

About David S. Atkinson

David S. Atkinson enjoys typing about himself in the third person, although he does not generally enjoy speaking in such a fashion. However, he is concerned about the Kierkegaard quote "Once you label me you negate me." He worries that if he attempts to define himself he will, in fact, nullify his existence...
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3 Responses to Let’s Confuse Some Doomsday Prophecies

  1. Greg says:

    I’m happy to report they all work. Misinformation sown.

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