I thought I’d share some ideas for some fun ways to spend the Christmas and such holidays today here on my blog. As I’ve gotten older, Christmas just doesn’t seem as much fun. However, I’ve come up with a few ways to try to get some of that fun back. I thought it would be good, in the spirit of the season to share.
Anyway, here we go:
– Next time you see one of the Christmas tree displays with fake presents underneath in the lobby of a commercial building, stop and unwrap one. Act surprised that it doesn’t have anything in it. Then ask where the exchange department is.
– Bring milk and cookies to a mall Santa. Explain that you thought you’d take care of this now as your cat usually eats anything you leave out.
– Take the whole ‘secret Santa’ thing to a whole new level. Buy a gift for your chosen person, then sneak into their home and attempt to hide it among their possessions so they never notice. Hint: perishable items like raw eggs make excellent presents.
– Attempt to chemically isolate the ‘nog’ from eggnog this year. You will solve the energy crisis if you succeed. I believe this involves something about sublimating it in a proper subliming vessel, but I could be mistaken.
– Send out rejection letters for any Christmas cards you receive. Dear card submitter: we are sorry, but your wish of “Seasons Greetings” just did not feel compelling to us. Please take this as indicative of our tastes as editors and not as a comment on your ability to send a greeting card. We wish you luck in finding a willing recipient of your Christmas cheer.
And there we have it. Follow one or two of these simple ideas and I bet you’ll have a fun Christmas. A few of them might even get you some people to spend the holidays with…possibly incarcerated people.