Simple Tips To Survive Passover

Since passover started at sunset yesterday (I think), I thought it might be wise to go over a few tips. These are all pretty simple things, but you’d be surprised how often people could go wrong on these. I just thought I’d share. A safe passover is a happy passover.

– First of all, if you happen to be keeping any Israelites in bondage, let them go. I can’t stress this enough. Don’t wait around on this, just go ahead and do it right away. Let those Israelites go.

– One thing to keep in mind during passover, if you see all the Israelites in your neighborhood doing something, like perhaps painting their doorways with the blood of lambs, you might want to consider doing it too. It might seem odd, but you never know when it might come in handy.

– Again, let those Israelites go. I can’t stress this one enough. That’s why it shows up twice on this list.

– If you do happen to have Israelites in bondage, don’t make them make bricks without straw. Why the heck would you even think of doing that? Sure, I understand you want to punish the Israelites for wanting to leave. I’m appalled, but I comprehend your thinking. However, you’ll end up with unstable buildings. That straw has a function. Don’t cut off your buildings to spite the Israelites.

– Last, if you did have Israelites in bondage and you did let them go only to decide later that you wanted them back and you manage to corner them at the edge of some body of water only to have that body of water split and them run away across the suddenly appeared dry land, don’t follow. Just let them go. Trust me, you do not want to follow them. Just turn around and go home.

Well, there you have it. I can’t guarantee that there aren’t other things you should do in order to survive passover, but I think you’ll definitely be better off if you keep this list in mind. Just saying.

About David S. Atkinson

David S. Atkinson enjoys typing about himself in the third person, although he does not generally enjoy speaking in such a fashion. However, he is concerned about the Kierkegaard quote "Once you label me you negate me." He worries that if he attempts to define himself he will, in fact, nullify his existence...
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