Day 5 Without My Wife: Messing With The Food

Well, my wife is still on her girls only trip to the Atlantis resort in the Bahamas and I’m still thinking of various things to do to irritate her while she is gone. I’m thinking it’s time to go into the kitchen with some sticky notes and a pen.

Now, I’m not thinking of something like Amelia Gray’s Threats here or anything. I’m thinking more like what I did with my wife’s crackers. You see, for some reason, one time she stored crackers in a tupperware container on the kitchen counter instead of the original box. I wasn’t sure why she did that, but it looked weird. I put a sticky note on it that read: Cracker Jail. Took her like a week to notice that.

I’m thinking of something like that, only I need to go through the kitchen and leave sticky notes on all of her food. If this is going to work, it needs to be meticulous and thorough. A note or two won’t do.

Perhaps I could put a note on the ketchup that reads: Why just burgers and fries? Try me on cereal! Or maybe I could put a note on the pancake batter that reads: Baby, you’re too sexy to be pouring your own syrup. I could even put a note on her peanut butter candies that reads: Warning: leaving a trail of these candies on the floor may attract extraterrestrials. The possibilities are endless, but the notes needs to be on everything in order for this to be both irritating to my wife and really funny to me.

Shouldn’t be too hard, right? I’ve certainly got the time…and the more time I sit in that house by myself the more odd ideas I come up with. I’m not certain it was a good idea to leave me on my own, but this is just the situation we find ourselves in.

About David S. Atkinson

David S. Atkinson enjoys typing about himself in the third person, although he does not generally enjoy speaking in such a fashion. However, he is concerned about the Kierkegaard quote "Once you label me you negate me." He worries that if he attempts to define himself he will, in fact, nullify his existence...
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1 Response to Day 5 Without My Wife: Messing With The Food

  1. Pingback: My Wife Returns: A Confession | David Atkinson's Blog

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