My Wife Returns: A Confession

My wife has finally returned from her girls only trip to the Atlantis resort in the Bahamas. While she’s been gone, I’ve been posting all the ways I’ve thought of to irritate her for leaving me on my own. However, I have a confession to make: I haven’t really been doing them.

I did not eat Chipotle for every meal. I did not watch my wife’s favorite TV programs so I could spoil them for her. I did not leave little funny notes on all her food in the kitchen. I did not save the snow from earlier in the week to put on her side of the bed. I didn’t even install any booby traps. I didn’t really do anything. Well, I did cut my fingernails, but that was about it.

Mind you, it isn’t that I’m a nicer guy than I seem to be. It also isn’t that I’m less foolish than I appear to be. No, I came up with all those ideas and then didn’t use any of them because I am a lazy, lazy man. Bottom line, they were all too much work.

It’s probably better that I didn’t, but I still wanted to come clean. Regardless, I’m really happy that my wife is home again.

About David S. Atkinson

David S. Atkinson enjoys typing about himself in the third person, although he does not generally enjoy speaking in such a fashion. However, he is concerned about the Kierkegaard quote "Once you label me you negate me." He worries that if he attempts to define himself he will, in fact, nullify his existence...
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4 Responses to My Wife Returns: A Confession

  1. Greg says:

    But what about Kelly?

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