Twinkies Return July 15 So I Can Go Back To Not Eating Them Again

As I’m sure everyone is aware by now, Twinkies and many other Hostess items will be returning on July 15 (via Daren Metropoulos, principal of Metropoulos & Co.). For Twinkie junkies, this is great news. For me in particular, it means that I can go back to only eating them once a year, if not once every other year, and don’t have to care anymore.

Don’t get me wrong, I was as sad to see Twinkies go as most…but mainly because of the iconic nature of the product. Though I like Twinkies, and many other Hostess products, just fine, I just didn’t eat them very often. I only ate them a couple times a year at most, with Twinkies in particular being something I had at most once a year. I just don’t have a big sweet tooth.

I cared when they weren’t going to be around anymore and made sure to have some last ones before they were gone, but now that they’re coming back I’m probably going to stop caring again. I might have one to celebrate the return, but then I’m probably going to go back to my old habits. I’ll eat them once in a long while, but that’s about it.

I sure hope that not everyone is in the exact same situation as me. If so, the return won’t last for long. However, given what I understand of the United States, I’m sure it’ll be okay.

(Unrelated note: if it isn’t July 2013 yet and you haven’t voted for story of the month over at Bartleby Snopes, consider popping over and voting for my story “The Des Moines Kabuki Dinner Theatre.” You don’t have to sign up for anything, give any personal information, or install any apps to vote. Spread the word.)

About David S. Atkinson

David S. Atkinson enjoys typing about himself in the third person, although he does not generally enjoy speaking in such a fashion. However, he is concerned about the Kierkegaard quote "Once you label me you negate me." He worries that if he attempts to define himself he will, in fact, nullify his existence...
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