You Want To Know What’s Really Killing All The World’s Bees? Kate Middleton.

People keep talking about what’s killing all the world’s bees. Some people blame pesticides, others blame some unexplained bee virus. However, I have uncovered the truth. You want to know what’s killing all the world’s bees? Kate Middleton.

That’s right, Kate Middleton. Kate Middleton is killing bees.

I suppose she just couldn’t take having to live under the media persona of being the nice girl anymore. What with all the attention over her marriage to Prince William, the birth of Prince George Alexander Louis, and everything like that, she has to act a certain way all the time. Pleasant. Nice.

I guess that was all just driving her mad, having to act like that so much of the time. It must be, because she started killing the bees. I can’t really see into her head, but it’s the only rational explanation.

Some of the bees she pushed in front of speeding buses. Others she locked in garages with running cars. Sure, she made it “seem” like accidents, but the truth can’t hide forever. Recently, given how easy it’s been for her to get away with it, she’s just started stomping on them. I guess all the to do over the new baby hasn’t given her as much time and patience for bee murder finesse.

Regardless, there’s your answer to what is killing the bees. Kate Middleton. If we want to save the bees, then perhaps we should let Kate loosen up a bit and maybe not watch her so close. Stop the pressure.

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About David S. Atkinson

David S. Atkinson enjoys typing about himself in the third person, although he does not generally enjoy speaking in such a fashion. However, he is concerned about the Kierkegaard quote "Once you label me you negate me." He worries that if he attempts to define himself he will, in fact, nullify his existence...
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