Does Russia Have A Space Weapon?

I just saw an article speculating about whether or not Russia has an orbital space weapon. I have some bad news founded on absolutely no information whatsoever. It’s true.

My sources may or may not have informed me that Russian university students have secretly overcome a design problem and created a laser that can produce an estimated six megawatts of power. This wouldn’t be too much on its own, but my sources also may or may not have indicated that another Russian student built a circular precision mirror one meter in diameter with a virtually 100 per cent reflective, one micron thick, film applied thereto. Maybe the engineers don’t have to figure out a use for it…may someone already has a use for it, one for which it’s perfectly designed.

Looks at the facts: very high power, portable, limited firing time, unlimited range. All you’d need is a big spinning mirror and you could vaporize a human target from space. (Apologies to Lazlo Hollyfeld.)

Our only hope is that the first group of Russian students will realize what’s going on, find out when the weapon is going to be tested, and change the coordinates to their professor’s house…where they’ve conveniently placed a huge tin of popcorn. I only hope they have enough montages available.


About David S. Atkinson

David S. Atkinson enjoys typing about himself in the third person, although he does not generally enjoy speaking in such a fashion. However, he is concerned about the Kierkegaard quote "Once you label me you negate me." He worries that if he attempts to define himself he will, in fact, nullify his existence...
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