I actually had a witty comeback today. I don’t mean later either. It wasn’t long after the situation where the comeback was irrelevant. No, something happened today and I immediately came back with something witty. You have no idea how rare this is.
There’s a shoe shine guy down on the 16th street mall who tries to be funny, but can sometimes be kind of offensive. A friend turned down a shoeshine from him one time and the guy looked closer and responded that he hadn’t realized those were ‘brokeback mountain’ boots, obviously not needing a shine.
Yeah, nothing pulls in business like homophobia jokes.
Anyway, I walked by that shoeshine guy today. I admit, my shoes need shining. With all the trouble getting ready to move recently I misplaced my polish. I think I know where it is and will dig it out to fix my shoes soon, but haven’t yet. It’s been icky a lot recently so my shoes would just have gotten messed up anyway, meaning they’d still need to be shined.
Anyway anyway, I walked by that guy and he said: “Whew! If your shoes look like that I’d hate to see your underwear.”
I immediately snapped back: “I’d hate for you to see my underwear too.”
Okay, so it wasn’t that great a comeback. Still, it was a comeback and I thought of it on the spot, in time for use. All in all, I’m still proud of myself.