Paris Reflections: More On Toilets

More Paris trip reflections! Let’s go back to toilets. Not every toilet I found in Paris didn’t have a seat. Not all of them were poorly maintained, even in restaurant bathrooms. I found one pizza place that still had an original Crapper, and still in really new looking condition. One restaurant even had a downright fancy toilet.

Admittedly, that restaurant had only one toilet. The signs said “toilets,” but there was only one beyond the door, separated from the sink room by yet another door. I didn’t notice anything the first time I went to use the bathroom, as I stood since I am a guy, but my wife came back from a trip and mentioned that the seat was heated.

That was different.

At first, she’d thought that someone had been sitting there for a long time previous, long enough to still be noticeable. That kind of creeped her out, but then she realized that the seat was simply heated. Fancy. When I used the restroom again after that, I still didn’t need to sit down. However, I wondered about that heated seat…so I did.

I had to try it.

That’s when I noticed a control box off to the left. There were all sorts of controls. This was a fancy toilet. Apparently, it was also a bidet. You could press to have warm water shot at different angles, also to have warm air blasted out to dry. There was even a “massage” button, though that didn’t appear to do anything.

Yes, I tried a few buttons. When was I ever going to run across something like that again?

I tell you though, I made sure not to press any buttons marked “ATR.” With that many fancy options, there was a chance it could actually be there. Definitely wouldn’t have wanted to press that.

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About David S. Atkinson

David S. Atkinson enjoys typing about himself in the third person, although he does not generally enjoy speaking in such a fashion. However, he is concerned about the Kierkegaard quote "Once you label me you negate me." He worries that if he attempts to define himself he will, in fact, nullify his existence...
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