Encouraging Cannibalism

I’m sure you’ve already heard that KFC is coming out with chicken-flavored nail polish. This is not going to end well.

Personally, I think KFC is encouraging cannibalism. I mean, do we really need to make humans taste like delicious Kentucky Fried Chicken? This seems incredibly dangerous to me.

Think about it. You were on a cruise. Due to a mysterious accident, the ship sank. You made it to a life raft with several other survivors. However, food has run out. You know what everyone is thinking, what people always think in that situation. At what point do they resort to cannibalism? It tends to happen eventually if the struggle goes on long enough. At that time…do you really want to taste like delicious Kentucky Fried Chicken?

Seems like it would be a drawback at that point. Personally, I’d want to be coated in cod liver oil or something else horribly unappetizing to minimize my chances of being cannibalized as long as possible. I’m certainly not going to season myself in order to spur the others on.

Now, perhaps this is a bit of a long shot worry, but do we really need to encourage cannibalism in any way? Perhaps I won’t be stranded in a shipwreck at any point in the near future (not that I wear fingernail polish anyway), but do I really want to see how easily hungry people might break during a long meeting?

Some people resort to cannibalism much faster than others.

About David S. Atkinson

David S. Atkinson enjoys typing about himself in the third person, although he does not generally enjoy speaking in such a fashion. However, he is concerned about the Kierkegaard quote "Once you label me you negate me." He worries that if he attempts to define himself he will, in fact, nullify his existence...
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