Making Do With Odd Apartment Features

I once had a crappy apartment. It was crappy for a number of reasons (roaches, rough neighborhood, leaking ceilings, and so on), but it wasn’t too bad because it was $365 a month (back in the late 90s) and all the utilities were paid (except a $50 monthly fee in the summer months if you had a window air conditioner). I was okay with it, but there were a few odd features.

For one thing, the apartment actually had two doors into the main outside hallway. The main door was fine, external door with a deadbolt, but the kitchen was an internal door (solid wood for the most part, but still an old style internal door) and only had an ordinary internal door skeleton key lock. Seriously, I could go to any hardware store and pick up a skeleton key that would get me into any kitchen door to the building.

Personally, that made me nervous. Luckily, the kitchen door opened inward into an alcove by the massively heavy fridge. I dealt with the situation by putting a table I had in there that just happened to be the exact dimensions of the alcove. Wedged that door closed. Even if you unlocked the kitchen door with an easily available skeleton key, you would have had to bash hard enough to crumple that table before you were getting in. I just didn’t think that was very likely. You’d have an easier time breaking the deadbolt on the front door, which resisted at least one decent attempt to do just that.

Other people used theirs though. I was in the hallway one time when my neighbor took his trash out from the kitchen into the hall naked. I don’t know why, given that the trash was outside and he didn’t appear to be going there. He looked a little sheepish, but didn’t hide or anything. He just set the trash down and went back inside.

It was an odd building.


About David S. Atkinson

David S. Atkinson enjoys typing about himself in the third person, although he does not generally enjoy speaking in such a fashion. However, he is concerned about the Kierkegaard quote "Once you label me you negate me." He worries that if he attempts to define himself he will, in fact, nullify his existence...
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