Monthly Archives: December 2010

There Are Too Many World Records: Angie’s Ass

Posted on December 31, 2010 by David S. Atkinson

We are keeping track of far too many world records. Angie’s ass is just the most recent proof. I will explain. On an episode of the Full Throttle Saloon that aired last night (I don’t know if it was a … Continue reading →

A Guy Who Gets More Worked Up About Bad Fashion Than Me: Baggy Pants Shot in the Butt

Posted on December 30, 2010 by David S. Atkinson

For a guy with no fashion sense at all, I’ve gotten pretty worked up about fashion idiocies of other people (cut offs with pockets showing, suit coats with jeans, etc.). Still, unlike Kenneth Bonds, I’ve never gotten worked up enough … Continue reading →

Posted in Uncategorized | Tagged kenneth bonds, kenneth bonds fashion avenger, memphis, sagging pants, shot for baggy pants, shot in butt, shot in butt for baggy pants, tennessee | Leave a comment

Considering Those More Fortunate Than Myself: Those Enrolled in the 2010-2011 UNMFA in Writing Winter Residency

Posted on December 29, 2010 by David S. Atkinson

Christmas was supposed to be (according to some) a time to consider those less fortunate than ourselves. Well, Christmas is over and it is now time for me to consider those MORE fortunate than myself, the writers who are off … Continue reading →

Posted in Uncategorized | Tagged jealousy, those more fortunate, university of nebraska, university of nebraska mfa in writing, unmfa in writing, winter 2010-2011 residency, winter residency, writing residency | 2 Comments

I’m Sure Christal Johnson Got Coal For Christmas: The Rhode Island Robbing Santa Hoax

Posted on December 28, 2010 by David S. Atkinson

Well, kiddies, Christal Johnson surely got coal for Christmas and police are no longer looking for the Santa that robbed the East Providence Yacht Club in East Providence, Rhode Island. Why? Apparently Santa didn’t rob the bar. Now, I don’t … Continue reading →

Posted in Uncategorized | Tagged Christal Johnson, east providence, east providence yacht club, Hanukkah, Hanukkah Harry, hoax santa robbery, rhode island, santa robs bar, santa robs bar hoax | Leave a comment

Doom is Coming to Nebraska

Posted on December 27, 2010 by David S. Atkinson

Doom is coming to Nebraska. You know it. I know it. It’s coming. I lived in Nebraska a long time. If I learned one rule, it is that it is the life of Nebraskans to suffer God’s wrath in the … Continue reading →

Posted in Uncategorized | Tagged apocalypse, end times, good nebraska weather, nebraska weather | Leave a comment

Don’t Trust Little Dickheads on the Fourth of July

Posted on December 26, 2010 by David S. Atkinson

As a word of warning, it is unwise to trust little dickheads on the fourth of July. This probably goes without saying, but I thought it was worth mentioning. This particular thought goes back to a fourth of July when … Continue reading →

Posted in Uncategorized | Tagged black cats, don't trust little dickheads on the fourth of july, fourth of july, little dickheads, thunderbombs | Leave a comment

Deceiving Children: Santa Claus and Christmas

Posted on December 24, 2010 by David S. Atkinson

Everyone seems to have a story of something outlandish their parents did to make them believe in Santa. Well, people who celebrate Christmas at least. I was just thinking, time of year being what it is, of my own such … Continue reading →

Posted in Uncategorized | Tagged christmas, deceiving children, pranks on your kids, santa | 2 Comments

I Don’t Like You, pbshop

Posted on December 23, 2010 by David S. Atkinson

I just want to formally go on record and say that I now do not like pbshop. Just so you know, this is some merchant that acts as a third party seller on Amazon. I was ordering Wittgenstein’s Mistress by … Continue reading →

Posted in Uncategorized | Tagged amazon, don't buy from pbshop, pbshop, pbshop amazon, third party seller, third party seller amazon | 145 Comments

Divinely Mandated Pranks

Posted on December 23, 2010 by David S. Atkinson

I have to admit, I do like to play an occasional prank. However, there are certain times when a potential prank is so set up for you, just landing in your lap, that the only conclusion is that not only … Continue reading →

Posted in Uncategorized | Tagged breath strips, breath strips for dogs, divine mandate, divinely mandated pranks, liver flavored breath strips, pranks, will of god | 1 Comment

Comcast News Really Needs to Work on Their IT, This Looks Really Weird

Posted on December 22, 2010 by David S. Atkinson

Comcast needs to keep an eye on their site. Not all of their summaries are quite matching up with their article titles, sometimes with some humorous results. Of course, I’m sure this is all the result of some script that … Continue reading →

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